


The Hand That Sews Time

by beejabbers, Sally_Port



Series: All of My Love [2]
Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 07:39:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3166838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beejabbers/pseuds/beejabbers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sally_Port/pseuds/Sally_Port
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lying to herself about her relationship to Miles was all well and good.  Lying to the rest of their family?  Well, this was going to take some work.  Sequel to "Is This to End or Just Begin?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beejabbers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beejabbers/gifts).



> Many thanks to Beejabbers for naming me as co-author of "Is This to End or Just Begin?" That work was entirely hers but she let me play in her universe when I came up with an idea for a sequel and I can't even begin to thank her for letting me continue what she started.

"I want you to move in with me."

The words caught Charlie by surprise. She was facing away from the bed, bent over to grab her underwear, though she had already put on her bra and tanktop.

She turned slowly, eying Miles sprawled across the top of the bed. His hair was mussed from her hands and his dark eyes felt like they were burning her.

"How would we explain that?" she asked slowly, trying to keep herself from showing that her heart felt like it was pounding its way out of her chest.

"I'm not sure. I'll think of something."

"Really, like what?" She cocked one eyebrow and he was suddenly staring out the window. They had been lovers for nearly six months and she'd gotten tired of trying to explain why she'd been sneaking back in the house at one or two in the morning or pretend that she was just getting up when she got home at five or six. Her solution had been to start visiting Miles at lunch when she plausibly could have a class or study group. She wasn't sure what excuse he was giving his business partner for leaving for a few hours in the middle of nearly every day but she was pretty sure that his childhood best friend was caught up enough in his own female troubles that he didn't care.

"I don't know. But Bass was commenting on the fact I've been staying so late to catch up on everything I miss in the afternoons. And I've rescheduled three meetings this week."

She glared, abruptly on the defensive because she felt guilty. "I never asked you to do that?" 

He glared back. "Never mind. Just forget about it."

He scrubbed his hand across his face and suddenly she realized the closed-off glare was because he thought she was blowing him off. She dropped her navy cotton briefs and crawled back on the bed, wiggling until her back was against his chest.

"If we can think of something that sounds plausible, I would adore it above all things. But isn't it a little obvious?"

He nuzzled at the back of her neck as if to reassure himself that just the feel of his stubble, his breath, and teeth could drive her crazy, even if they had just finished making love less than ten minutes before. "Really. Because you didn't sound like you wanted to a minute ago."

She sprawled onto her back and dragged him half on top of her. "You caught me by surprise. And you know how scared I get about things that seem too good to be true."

That was a trait they shared in common and had fought about on numerous occasions. His reply was a kiss that made her bones feel like they were melting. He worked his way down, pausing to lave the underside of her breasts before settling between her legs and kissing the top of her pubic bone. "Imagine coming home to this every night," he growled, biting her gently at the juncture of her thigh and she heard her own breathing filling the room. "Or waking up to it."

She raked her hands through his hair, loving the way the spiky black follicles slid through her fingers. "I'm not the one that needs selling on this point. We need to come up with something both our mothers won't question. And since your mother is my grandmother. . .there could potentially be a lot of questioning."

He looked up and met her eyes before he turned his attention back to running his tongue along her clit, dragging it across the already sensitized skin that made her want to both push him away and drag him closer.

"I'd figure out a way to deal with that," he mumbled into her skin and she sighed for probably the thousandth time in the last week. She hated having to pretend he meant nothing to her beyond just the simple Uncle/Niece relationship that they should have had. She sometimes wondered how it was that everyone hadn't seen through them already. Sometimes she wondered about Danny, if he knew. But her brother wasn't asking questions -- with all her absences, that alone was enough to let her know something was different -- so she didn't dare bring it up either.

She shuddered against the pressure of his tongue -- not exactly an orgasm but probably the closest she'd get with every nerve her her body still hypersensitive from the fact he'd fucked her into the mattress hard enough to satisfy even her dark fantasies for a few minutes. She got a grip on his shoulders and he crawled back up her at the pressure of her hands.

She could feel him half-hard against her leg but she settled against his chest. "You figure out a good story and I'd do it in an instant," she muttered into his ear and she relaxed against him. After a few minutes of laying next to him she glanced over her shoulder. "Do you have to get back to work?"

He grunted, one of his hands snaking around her and pulling her tight against him. Shecouldn'tt understand the words he growled against her hair but she clearly read his meaning. . .it could all wait a little longer.

 

Dinner -- for once -- had all three other people in her house around the table when Charlie walked in the front door. She'd spent her afternoon in the computer lab at school finishing a paper she'd been putting off for a few days. She'd gotten it typed, printed and turned in a whole day early -- a fact she was proud of, considering she'd been spending more and more time with Miles.

There was a chicken on the table -- though no one had bothered to take it out of the grocery-store roaster container -- and a bowl of lettuce with another small dish of cherry tomatoes next to it. Her family looked at her in surprise and she felt a flash of guilt. So maybe she'd taken studying at school a little too far in an effort to not let any of them know her schedule.

"Charlie," Rachel greeted, the pleased disbelief coloring her voice. "I wasn't expecting you home yet."

"Well, I finished early," she said, dropping her book bag next to the hall table and exchanged a grin with Danny. She frowned, gesturing at the fourth place setting at the table. "Wait, why'd you get me a plate if you weren't expecting me?"

"That's mine," Miles said, walking into the kitchen from the hallway. "I hadn't seen any of you for a while so I stopped over with dinner. How are you doing, Kid?"

He sounded so casual her heart contracted but one of his hands brushed hers as he bent over to give her a "friendly" peck on the cheek and she tried not to blush. 

So that explained the almost "normal" family dinner. It was rare to get her parents, brother and herself at the same time at home in the evening, let alone gathered at the same table. Ben moved to grab silverware for her as she pulled a plate out of the cupboard and she squeezed in between Danny and her father. It was as close to opposite as she could get to Miles, who was seated between her mother and brother. It seemed like a good idea but she had no sooner settled into her place and starting to dish herself salad and chicken that she realized she was tensing up. And he'd said multiple times that her being tense made him the same way.

Well, neither of them was going to disagree their relationship was unhealthy

In fact, no one was ever going to say their relationship was healthy, even if they didn't do weird things to each others moods.

"So," she asked, trying to sound casual, "what prompted this visit?" She was pretty sure she knew but she was curious what he was going to say. She'd expected a little coaching.

"Had an early evening and hadn't seen any of you for a while. Figured we could try the whole domestic thing without mother putting it on for once."

"It just won't be the same," Danny intoned. "Who will I sneak gin from?" Her brother laughed at her mother's look of pure horror and even Charlie smiled a little. "No, Mom, don't worry. I think it's disgusting." Rachel relaxed a little and Charlie tried not to snort. Danny had inherited the family taste for alcohol as much as the rest of them; he just preferred beer. Ben had it under the best control with his two glasses of wine at dinner but she'd noticed Miles' whiskey consumption had cut in half since they'd started sleeping together and she'd not been drinking much herself. It was as if their demons calmed each other.

"I actually have an ulterior motive," Miles said and Ben and Danny both snorted.

"That's a surprise," her father chuckled. "Well?"

"It was actually Bass' idea. I wanted to offer Charlie a job."

"Charlie's doesn't graduate for another year," Rachel said, her voice a little snippy. "And then there's grad school."

"Rachel, not everyone has to go to grad school right away. Or at all," Ben said quietly. "Charlie's majoring in chemistry, not theoretical physics."

She'd picked chemistry because it had been the softest sciences she could think of but she'd discovered she had actually really liked it; the way different things reacted with each other. She'd figured she'd end up in a lab somewhere and that didn't exactly thrill her. But she liked the idea of it more than whatever it was Ben and Rachel did; coming up with theories that then were left to other people to build. 

"She'll be on summer break in another two months," Miles said, sounding cheerful and a little uncaring. "We thought maybe she could start part time until summer and then maybe we could figure out a work/school balance in the fall. Sure, maybe it would take her a little longer to graduate. . .but the point of college is to get a good job. So if you've got a good job, why accumulate the debt."

Except she didn't have school debt. Both her parents were on staff at the university as well as several other think-tanks so neither she or Danny had to pay tuition.

"He's got a good point," Danny snickered. "Other than the debt thing. But how exactly does dignitary protection and chemistry go together."

Bass and Miles' company specialized in private security firm and their client list included politicians, businessmen and the occasional celebrity. Neither of them exactly talked much about work -- their discretion included even their own family -- but Charlie had a pretty good idea that some of their clients often had more money than brain cells. From what she had picked up from overhearing phone conversations lately, a lot of them weren't even in any form of danger ever but they liked the attention they could buy. And to their credit, Miles and Bass never seemed to cut corners, even if the client wouldn't have known the difference.

"Well, the State labs are usually really backed up so Bass and I have talked about buying some of our own equipment. It's nothing that would stand up in court if the State labs came up with something different but it gives us a pretty good idea where to start so we don't waste so much time waiting for lab results."

"You do personal security. What lab work do you need done?" Ben didn't sound defensive like Rachel had, just curious."

"Bass wants to start branching out. A little PI stuff on the side. Mostly domestic so pretty much what we're already doing but now we'll advertise instead of just having people want it as bonus service. Just basic stuff like cheating spouses and paternity questions. Family drug problems. Is Mabel the Nanny dosing the kids snacks with ritalin or is that mommy's fingerprints on the bottle buried in the trash or how much is that iced tea spiked before someone's getting behind the wheel."

It was a completely crazy idea, Charlie decided. But it might actually work. And the part about Bass wanting to branch out wasn't even a lie. She'd overhead enough phone conversations between he and Miles lately to know he was bored. She just hadn't known the branch would be going in that direction. She wasn't even sure if Miles hadn't manipulated it to be just the one that would be perfect for her.

"I've found a retired detective and a retired lab tech that are willing to come work for us part time. But they want an assistant they can train so they can set their own schedule and I thought of Charlie."

"I think that sounds like fun," she said, before Rachel could comment but to her surprise her mother looked more thoughtful than irritated.

"Except that's over an hour drive each way," Ben pointed out. "A long commute would be tough thing to add in. You're twenty-one and can do whatever you want. . .I just think you need to consider that too."

"Oh, I figured she could just stay with me," Miles said casually but Charlie could tell from the way he was avoiding looking at her that he was forcing it. "It's only half-hour from my place and we could take turns driving. And it's nearly the same distance to the university."

"You could use someone," she teased trying not to show how eager she was, "to make sure you're consuming more than beer and pizza."

"Hey, whiskey and takeout thai," he corrected. "Give me some credit. Other than that," he added, smirking just a little, "you might be about right."

She was surprised when Rachel laughed. "What about this girl you've been seeing? You know, the one you pretend doesn't exist but that we all know you're just hiding from Rosemary."

Miles' jaw clenched and he looked away, sighing a little. "She broke up with me. Decided she liked her ex-boyfriend a lot better than she did me."

"I'm so sorry, Miles," Rachel gasped, looking genuinely contrite as Charlie swallowed a knot in her throat. Jason was still an almost touchy subject because she knew Miles blamed himself for them not working out, even if they'd broken up several years before.

"Yeah, well," Miles muttered. "I'd rather not talk about it. But I thought it would be kind of fun to have Charlie there. Keeps me on my toes, if nothing else. . . ."

"No, of course, that sounds like a great idea," Rachel almost gushed, her blue eyes wide with concern. "Maybe tonight--"

"I'm not suicidal, Rachel," Miles cut in, rolling his eyes. "I was thinking a couple of weeks from now. . .if that works with Charlie's schedule."

She almost howled with frustration, the idea of getting to go back home with Miles that night had flashed through her mind for just an instant and having the fantasy yanked away made every nerve in her body start that slow burn that they did when they knew she wouldn't be seeing him for a while.

"No, of course not," Rachel gasped, sounding horrified that Miles would even say the words. "But, if you. . . ." she trailed off, hands fluttering towards Ben, who nearly smiled.

"What Rachel's saying is we're worried about you. Even if you're not suicidal. Everyone could tell you liked this girl. Even if we never met her."

"Especially since we never met her," Danny added dryly.

"We're family," Rachel said. "We take care of each other."

He'd done it, Charlie realized, her throat suddenly totally dry. She took a sip of water, trying not to react to Miles' casual shrug. 

"I do have to admit, I wouldn't mind the company. But it's really Charlie's decision."

"Well, I don't have any major projects due this week," she commented. "What do you say I grab a couple of things and go back with you tonight. We'll try it for a few days and see how it works out."

 

It wasn't until she dropped her bag in the spare bedroom -- the one she had used to stay in when she was visiting -- that it finally felt real. She unzipped it, pulling out a handful of shirts and a few pairs of jeans, turning to stare at the empty dresser, trying to get her brain to start working again.

"I figured," Miles said from the doorway, lounging against the frame, "you can keep most of your stuff in here. You know, for when anyone visits. Makes it look like you, you know, actually stay in this room"

"Just means I'll probably be walking naked down the hall a lot, looking for my underwear," she teased.

He shrugged. "That'd be okay with me. I might be convinced to give you a drawer or two in my dresser, if it bugs you. The naked part."

She signed, staring anywhere but at him, looking like she was being critical of the room. "Closet's on the small side."

"Charlie." She heard the exasperation in his voice and couldn't help but grin as she shrugged out of her jacket, dropping it on the bed and turned towards him.

He came away from the doorframe, meeting her in the middle of the room, mouth covering hers in a desperate kiss that made her blood boil.

 

She woke the next morning, face pressed into Miles' shoulder and felt an instant of panic that she'd overslept and Rachel would demand to know where she had been all night. But Miles' arms came around her, his stubble catching against her hair and she crawled up to kiss him on the forehead. He grinned at her, a hand wrapping in her hair and gently pulling her head back so he could nibble at her throat. She whimpered softly as he rolled her under him, his erection flexing against her hip until he shifted himself and pressed into her. One hand was still in her hair, the other gripping her hip.

"See," he whispered, her earlobe in his mouth. "One of my better hairbrained ideas, don't you think?" She grinned at him, lifting both her hands from his ass to his shoulders as she kissed him. It didn't matter that both of them tasted of sleep or according to the clock she only had an hour before she had to leave for class, all she could think of was that she'd be waking up like this for the foreseeable future.


	2. Chapter 2

FOUR YEARS LATER

She felt the tears welling as soon as she saw the two lines and she blinked, hoping for an instant it was just the blurring but she wiped at her eyes and there were definitely still two lines on the stick.

"I'm going to throw up," she gasped and Nora raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it's too early for morning sickness. I'm assuming it's the shock. Do you know who the father is?"

She nodded, not even trusting herself to speak and her friend grinned. "Really? Cuz I haven't really seen you with a guy since you and Jason split up."

"Just because I'm discreet about it," she hissed, "doesn't mean I don't date."

Nora shrugged, her face splitting into a grin. "It's not your boss, is it?" She almost did throw up, words of protest getting lost in a rush of bile as she wondered how Nora had guessed but her friend sighed. "I don't care if Sebastian Monroe is twice your age. I'd totally tap that."

She choked the sourness back into her stomach and glared at the other woman. "Have a little respect. His wife died less than a year ago." Shelley had had a difficult pregnancy with their daughter and they had all breathed a sigh of relief when the birth had turned out okay. Gail had been about a month old when Shelley had gone to take a nap with a headache and had never woken up. It had been an aneurysm, the doctors had found during the autopsy.

For a man that had lost his parents and siblings to a drunk driver, the blow had nearly devastated him and the only time Charlie had seen Miles for about a month was whenever she'd gone over to Bass' house. She was pretty sure that if it hadn't been for his daughter, even Miles' wouldn't have been able to keep Bass from killing himself. 

But Bass had eventually gotten to the point where he could cope with daily events like dishes and diaper changes without breaking down into desperate sobs. Miles had collapsed into bed the first day he'd been back and had slept for nearly 20 hours straight, gotten up to use the bathroom, inhale a sandwich and some water and slept for about 12 hours once he had called to make sure Bass was still doing okay. Charlie didn't tell him she'd already talked to Bass on the phone three times and had even gone over once when Bass had realized he'd forgotten to get diapers before he'd sent Miles home.

Bass hadn't done so well when he started coming back to work -- he complained that even having a nanny meant he hardly ever saw Gail -- so he had started leasing an empty office on the second floor of their building and hired a woman to run the place as a day care. She'd gradually started turning it into a real business with other clients but Bass still subsidized her rent and often joked it was a small price to pay to be able to see his daughter more. 

Gail had just turned a year old a few weeks before and Miles was already talking about making sure he was there with Bass on the anniversary of Shelley's death. She felt the panic in her throat along with fresh bile. That first morning he'd been back home, snuggled against her, he'd whispered to her, "I never really wanted kids. But after that -- watching what he's going through -- I'm glad that's never going to be us." The memory made her want to throw up, even if she hadn't eaten anything in hours.

"Nearly a year. Means he's ready for a rebound then. Unless that's what this is?"

"No, this isn't Bass Monroe's kid. It's no one I work with." A lie but there were just some things you didn't even tell your best friend when you were pregnant with your own --and only -- cousin. Nora had six cousins that all lived in Texas but she went back at least once a year and Charlie had always envied her that.

"Hmm. Means he's still single, then." Charlie was pretty sure Nora was just kidding. Her friend always spoke that way about Bass but been around him plenty and had never actually tried to flirt with him any more than she did every other man. "But seriously, your guy is going to be there for you, right?" She pointed at the stick and Charlie shrugged.

"Honestly? I have no idea." And for all the lies she'd told, that was the part Charlie had a horrible feeling was going to be the truth. There was no telling how Miles was going to take this.

"Well," Nora said, glancing around her apartment -- Charlie hadn't wanted to risk trying the pregnancy test at Miles' house, even if he had been at work -- "if worse comes to worse, we can always find something a little larger and be room-mates." The shock must have showed on her face because Nora sighed. "Sweetie, let's be realistic. You have the worlds coolest uncle. But do you really think he's going to want to deal with having a baby in that house?"

"He's family," she choked out, this time not entirely sure she wouldn't be throwing up for real.

"Yeah. So. He's still not the type to deal with diapers. Or what about crying? He probably won't outright ask you to leave but he'll want it and maybe it would be better if you offered first."

"I'll think about it." She glanced at her watch, realizing she had already pushed her lunch break to over an hour and she still had a fifteen minute drive.

She pulled into the parking lot of their office and sat in her car, parked next to Miles' restored Challenger. He'd spent two years getting it redone after he'd found it on one of their trips, rusting in someone's driveway. The first time they'd taken it out after he'd gotten it finished he'd laughed that it was the perfect car for a cranky old bachelor. 

She'd laughed at the time because he'd had her bent over the hood, fucking her from behind, one hand on her hip and the other on her clit. He'd been growling into her hair how hot she was and how much he loved her. She remembered the feel of the bumper against her shins and the slow, shallow thrusts that had he'd tortured her with because he got off on hearing her beg harder. He'd eventually relented and slammed into her -- how she liked it -- until she'd cried out under him and'd he'd allowed his own control to snap.

Her phone rang and she picked it up from the seat next to her, seeing his name on the screen and she grimaced as she answered it.

"Hey, where are you?" Miles asked. "I can see your car in the parking lot but I wanted to go over some stuff with you and no one seems to know where you're at."

"In my car," she muttered. "I'm not feeling very well. I'm thinking of just going home."

"You okay?" It made her want to cry how tender he sounded. "Something you eat at lunch disagree with you?"

"No. . .I didn't actually eat. Wasn't feeling good enough." Had just plain forgot in her haste to prove to herself her late period was due to stress or something other than being pregnant. She'd purchased the test but she really hadn't been prepared for the results.

"Well, sorry about that. Any chance I can get you up here for about thirty minutes to go over a couple of files with me. We got lab results back from two cases and I dumped them in your office. . .but you know I can never understand what they're saying. . .then you can take the rest of the day off. Tomorrow too if you're not feeling well." There was a hint of pleading in his voice but she also knew he wouldn't push it if she said no. But if she was going to do this, she might as well do it right.

She had tried to explain to him a few times how to read some of the results that always seemed so straightforward to her but he'd told her -- in that if nothing else -- he was clearly Ben and Rachel's daughter because it was all just lines and bars to him.

She had laughed at the time, making a crack about job security as she'd palmed him through his slacks and he'd breathed her name like a prayer. It was one of numerous times they'd ended up doing a quick check through their suite to make sure no one else was working late then shutting themselves in his office because neither of them had wanted to wait till they made it home.

"Sure," she'd said, hearing the weariness in her voice. 

"Charlie, if you don't --" She hung up the phone, forcing herself to cut him off because she didn't think she could handle hearing him trying to be sweet when she was pretty sure it would be over as soon as she told him she was pregnant.

It flashed through her mind for an instant that there were other ways and she maybe didn't have to tell him but she breathed shallowly, remembering once how her mother had said they had come so close to giving up on Danny when they'd thought he wouldn't make it. . .but her brother had defied the odds and she couldn't imagine life without him. She didn't think she could live with herself if she destroyed something that was a part of her and Miles both, even if it cost her Miles.

She trudged in the front door, flashing her ID at the guard who barely even glanced at it -- it wasn't like she didn't see him multiple times a day. The elevator ride to the fourth floor seemed to take forever and Miles was waiting by the doors when she stepped out.

"Hey, I was starting to say don't worry about it. . .we can pick back up on this another time if you're really not feeling well."

"No, might as well just get it over with," she muttered, feeling the familiar unwinding of all her tension whenever he was near. They both smiled at Melody, their receptionist/secretary, who was on the phone -- dealing with a supplier if Charlie was interpreting her conversation correctly -- and Miles waved his access badge to get them into their work area.

Their fingers brushed as he walked next to her into the inner foyer that led to his and Bass' offices and the conference room, turning her down the hallway that led to her lab. One of his hands did move then to touch her gently in the small of her back and she tried not to lean into his fingers. She felt her resolve waver; would anything be worth giving this up, she tried to decide. She could tell Nora she'd gone to the doctor and the test had been faulty or maybe even wait a few weeks and claim a miscarriage. Her friend wouldn't say anything -- would probably even understand if Charlie told her she just wasn't ready for a baby. Nora always claimed to be catholic but her catholicism was about as solid as Charlie's protestantism; erratic at best.

"This shouldn't take long. I just wanted to see what the results of the Jensen's tests were and --" Miles broke off as Bass came out of the bathroom, carrying Gail. The little girl had clearly been crying, but her right cheek was pressed against Bass' shoulder and she lifted her head to stare at Charlie with her blue eyes, sniffling slightly.

"Oh, hey," Bass said, and Gail pushed herself away from him to hold out her arms towards Charlie. He passed her over without even seeming to notice Charlie's recoil. Gail had always been fascinated by Charlie's hair, petting it gently whenever Charlie held her and she felt small fingers wrap in it, even as Gail started whimpering softly. "Miles, I'm cutting out early today. The day care called and she's not feeling well so I'm taking her home. I think she has a fever."

"Yeah, I think it's going around. Charlie's not feeling well either."

"Oh, shit, you okay?" Bass asked. "Do you need me to take her back?"

"We're fine," Charlie said quietly, hoping neither of them noticed the tone of her voice. "I think we're just going to be miserable together here for a little bit." She wanted to start crying, she realized, not throw up. She had never wanted kids of her own; had always wanted Miles instead. The doctors had eventually decided that the aneurysm that had killed Shelley had been something she'd probably had all her life but the strain of pregnancy and birth had weakened it enough that it had eventually burst on its own. No one had ever thought -- despite all the times Shelley had been to the doctor when she'd been pregnant -- to check her brain. But she'd heard Bass once say that if anyone had asked him, he wouldn't be able to chose between Gail and Shelley. It just felt like Gail's fingers were working their way into Charlie's heart rather than just her hair while Bass and Miles talked softly about their clients and anything that needed done in the next few days.

She finally handed Gail back to her father and followed Miles into her lab, being sure to keep at least arms distance between them. She found the sealed lab results on top of her file cabinet, stepping away when she was pretty sure he was coming up to sneak a kiss to the back of her neck and she dropped the envelopes on the table. She slit the first of them open and scanned through the pages for a minute before looking up at him. "Emerson Jenkins' urine has been clean for the last four weeks. But her hair tested positive for THC and opiates. Which means she's either cleaning up, not as frequent a user as her mother thinks, figured out when these so-called random tests are going to occur or she's finding a way to get someone else's urine for the test."

"She's fourteen. Do fourteen year olds deal in black market piss?" Miles said, his voice astounded.

"She's got access to the internet, which makes it easy. And she's got a credit card that caps her spending at $500 a week. I know her parents think that is incredibly responsible of them to put that kind of limit on her. . .but Danny and I had a monthly allowance of fifty dollars at that age and all our friends thought our parents were incredibly generous. And it was contingent on doing our chores and finishing our homework."

Miles shook his head in disgust. "Great. Well, I'll let them know another stint in rehab might be in order. They're not going to like it."

"Tell them so spend a little more time with their daughter and a little less time paying off her bills. The Jenkins were both attorneys who were rarely home from what Charlie had heard. David Jenkins had used their services as a protection detail when he'd gotten a high profile athlete convicted on a drunk driving charge -- not long after she'd started working for Miles. The man had taken to parking his car near Jenkins' work and home -- though he'd stayed the requisite 500 feet away per the restraining order Jenkins had filed. Miles had been planning on taking over personally after they'd learned the man might have purchased an illegal firearm but the athlete hadn't learned from his first conviction; his next time driving intoxicated he'd driven himself into an overpass and died instantly. When he'd started suspecting his daughter was using drugs the Jenkins had called Miles for help again.

"Yeah, something else they wouldn't like to hear. Some people just shouldn't be parents." The casualness of his tone cut her like a whip and she shoved the Jenkins' results into their file in her cabinet.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" He sounded puzzled and she blinked back tears, making sure to face away from him.

"You ever think about kids?"

She could see his reflection in the metallic picture frame on top of the file cabinet her and Danny with their arms linked, grinning at their high school graduation. She'd been two years older but he'd also skipped two grades -- fourth and seventh. She could have also if she'd wanted to but she'd been hoping Danny would catch up with her so they could go through school together. As family.

She turned around, finally daring to look him in the eyes and he was frowning, puzzled and a little irritated, she thought. "Where is this coming from?" he asked, and she could tell he was trying to keep his voice even but wasn't succeeding. 

"It's just a question, Miles. Did you ever want kids?"

"Hell no," he snapped. "That was Ben's thing. His and Bass' both. I always kind of figured it was better I not reproduce. Humanity would be safer that way. And I never wanted to deal with babies."

She remembered his distance when she'd been much younger, barely ever around when Danny was so sick and she blinked back tears, trying to wonder how she could have ever been so stupid.

"Charlie," he said. "Is this your way of trying to ask if I'd. . . ." he trailed off and she realized he couldn't even say the words 'be a father.' She didn't respond and she heard him pacing restlessly. "Because I. . .I don't think I could do it. Not with what's between us. How would we explain? I mean, damn, how irresponsible would that be?"

"Fine," she whispered, grabbing the other envelope and studying the two pages in it for a moment. "The results of the Parker's DNA tests were inconclusive. Which means that yes, Marilee is related to Scott. . .but without his brother's DNA there is no way to tell if she's Scott's or Bradley's daughter. He's going to have to get a court order for it if he wants to know for sure. Unless he can convince his wife to tell him. Then again, she might not even know herself."

"Charlie, you need to decide if you --"

"I said I get it," she snapped. "Do me a favor and just drop it, okay. It was just a stupid question. Let it go. And did you hear anything I said about the Parkers?"

"Of course, I heard. Court order and Susan Parker's potentially questionable tastes. Not that I have any room to talk about anyone else's questionable tastes. Fuck, I don't know which call I want to make less. The Jenkins or the Parkers. Now get out of here and feel better soon. Whatever you have is clearly affecting your brain as well as your stomach. You're not normally this maudlin."

"Whatever," she snapped, resisting the urge to tell him he wasn't normally this much of an ass. . .but she swallowed the lump in her throat. He was just being Miles. She'd known what she'd gotten herself into. She brushed him off at his office, not letting her walk her out to her car and their receptionist looked at her hard when she pressed the elevator button three times in quick succession, praying it wouldn't take forever.

"Charlie, you okay?" Melody asked and Charlie nodded.

"Yeah. I just feel like crap today so I'm leaving early."

"I'm sorry. Bass took Gail home a little bit ago. Must be going around."

"Yeah, must be. I'm going to get out of here and try not to breath on you. . .hope you don't get it or carry it home to your kids." Melody grinned and held up two fingers in the hex symbol.

"You can say that again. But odds are, if you were going to be contagious, it's all ready too late for us. You need me to get anything sent over to your place for you? Delivery or anything? Your uncle pretty much sucks at all that. Back before you moved in I finally took pity on him, demanded his credit card, and arranged for a company to drop-ship everything from dish soap to toilet paper.

"I remember that," Charlie laughed, even if she wanted to cry. "It was nice going over to his house and not having to worry if you'd have something to wipe with." Miles had been good about stocking up when he had expected guests but it hadn't worked so well for drop-in visits when they'd been on that side of town. "That's Miles for you. Not domestic."

So why had she expected all that to change, just because something had clearly gone wrong? She needed, she decided, to know exactly what she was dealing with and how far along she was.

 

Her regular doctor was already booked when she called but Charlie accepted the offer of an appointment with an assistant when she said it was an emergency. The assistant listened gravely when Charlie explained she was more than three weeks late and the results of the store bought test. The woman took a vial of blood and smiled sympathetically, leaving Charlie to wait for nearly twenty minutes with a magazine she flipped through but couldn't actually read.

When she came back in, she was calm, explaining the test really was positive and Charlie exhaled away her last hope that it might all turn out to be a bad test. Her only hope now, she realized, was that it was all just a bad dream. "So from what you're telling me," the woman said, "I'd have to say you're probably seven to eight weeks along. Any chance you could narrow the conception window a little. Like when around that time you had sex?"

Charlie shook her head, nearly snorting. "We always use condoms," she supplied and she could tell from the doctor's wry smile that wasn't quite what she was looking for. But she really didn't want to say, 'usually around twice a day, pretty damn near every day' to a perfect stranger, even if she was a doctor. They both liked it as a way to start the morning and they slept better after a bout last thing before bedtime. She'd read one of Danny's sci-fi books where there was an alien race that believed "once more before breakfast" was an adequate substitute for "good morning" and she'd thought at the time what a perfect description that was for her and Miles. Then again, she realized, they could as easily misquote it with "once more before bedtime" replacing "good night."

"No birth control for you?" the woman asked, flipping through her chart.

"No, they made me really moody. I tried a few different types and none of them seemed to do anything than make me crazy. I know they do the opposite for most people. But not for me." She'd found that out when she'd been seventeen. Those four months of her life were nothing she ever wanted to repeat.

"Is the father still around?" the doctor asked and Charlie could tell she was trying to be helpful.

She nodded. "For now. He's been really clear on the subject of not having kids so I don't know if he will be much longer." She felt the knot in her throat and the woman's look of sympathy and she gritted her teeth till her jaw hurt. "I don't want to talk about him."

The doctor blinked, then nodded, launching into a lecture about prenatal health and consulting a calendar to try to get a time to get her in for an ultrasound to get a better idea of an exact age -- though based on Charlie best guess on her last period, the doctor was pretty sure seven weeks was probably correct.

She cried when she got back into her car and she realized the hardest part wasn't over yet. She still had to tell Miles.

 

His car was already in the garage, she discovered, and she checked her watch, realizing she'd been at the doctor's office a lot longer than she had thought -- but he still would have had to have left work early.

He was on the phone when she walked in the door, dropping her purse and keys on the small hallway table and she inhaled the scent of what she was pretty sure was chicken soup. Sure enough, she saw as she walked into the kitchen, there was a pot of it on the stove, even if he was heating it up from some that had come from a store. She could see the plastic container still on the counter but it was more thoughtful than she'd expected.

"Hey, Rach, never mind, she just got home," Miles said and she heard her mother say something. "Yeah, I'll have her call you later. She looks like death warmed over. I'm probably just going to get her to eat something and go to bed." He hung up and caught her, hugging her to him tighter than she expected, his face buried in her shoulder. "I'm sorry I was such an ass," he said into her hair. "I didn't mean any of that how it sounded. It's just not something that we can have. But," his voice cracked, "if you think it's something you need. . .I'll understand." He stepped away from her but kept hold of her hands. "You scared me, when I got back here and you weren't here."

She'd never considered that perhaps his vehemence on the subject might have been because he was scared she was thinking of leaving him and she felt her throat knot up again but she forced herself to answer, even if it was toneless. "I just decided to go to the doctor. No sense in putting it off."

"Well, that's good. I tried to call a bunch of times but you never picked up."

She pulled out her phone, seeing four missed calls from him. "Oh, I put it on silent when I went in to the doctors office. I never bothered to check it when I got done."

"Oh, well, I remembered you said you hadn't eaten so I stopped and got you some soup. Think that might help or would that make you feel worse."

"No, that should be fine," she said quietly and she heard him pulling a bowl out of the cupboard and ladling soup into it. He sat it on the counter near her, then move back and fill a glass with water.

"You should drink something too. Fluids and all that. . .supposed to help when you're not feeling well. Charlie," his voice was suddenly serious and right behind her. "What's wrong? Is there something you're not telling me?" She heard the fear in his voice and it pushed her over the edge. She hadn't planned to tell him yet but it seemed crueler than leaving him to wonder and she knew there was no way she'd be able to pretend she was fine.

"I'm pregnant, Miles," she said softly and watched his face go from concerned to totally blank.

"When did you find out?" he asked and she was a little surprised by how normal his tone was.

"At lunch. I bought a pregnancy test and went over to Nora's. It was positive. I was hoping it was wrong but the doctor assures me it's not."

"So you knew." She was shocked at the anger in his voice but he turned away from her, standing in front of the sink. "You knew this afternoon when you asked me if I wanted kids?"

"Yeah," she admitted slowly. "Like I said, I was hoping it was wrong." Even though she had been pretty certain it wasn't.

"Damn it, Charlie," he exploded and she fell back a step, even if he wasn't even looking at her. "What the fuck?"

In all her most brutal imagination, she'd never expected him to take it like this and she could feel the tears streaming down her face. "Hey," she finally managed to snap, "I didn't do this by myself. You were part of it too."

"Not this I wasn't," he yelled and she felt all the blood drain from her face.

"How dare you?" she hissed. "Don't even try to tell me that just because I'm pregnant that it isn't yours."

He whirled around to face her, his anger mutating to confusion for a moment, then back to anger. "That's not what I'm saying at all," he yelled. "Why the hell would you think that?"

"Because that's what you just said," she shouted back and he groaned, grabbing a glass and a bottle of whiskey.

"I am not ready to deal with this right now." He took a large swallow and glared at her as she stared at him in envy. "And don't you even think of it," he snapped.

"I wasn't," she snarled. "Unless I was thinking about wringing your neck. And then, yes, I was."

She was surprised that he almost laughed at that as he downed another shot of whiskey. "What I meant," he said like he was talking to one of his more moronic clients, and she felt her blood pressure start to rise, "when I said 'what the fuck' wasn't about that you were pregnant. I understand that I was part of that too. What I was angry about. . .what I am still angry about. . .is the fact you set me up. Not with getting pregnant," he added hastily. "But about asking me about it without letting me know it was a done deal already." She could still hear the rage behind his voice. "What the hell was I supposed to say to a question like 'do you want kids' when you're in our situation? Of course I don't. What sort of idiot does that kind of thing to their own children?" He set the glass down and walked towards her and she wanted to turn and run but his arms went around her and suddenly she was sobbing into his shoulder. "It was the only right thing I could have said."

"I'm sorry," she managed to hiccup out, starting to pull away from him. "I'll leave as soon as I figure out. . . ." She couldn't say it, she realized.

"Charlie, you idiot," he snapped, pulling her back against him. "You still don't get it, do you?"

"What's to get?" she croaked. "It's messed up to have the baby and --"

"Yes, it's messed up. It's as messed up as everything else in our relationship. And what I'm trying to say is that I was mad because you set me up to tell you how much I thought it was a bad idea without letting me know it was too late for that already. Really, what else was I supposed to say since I didn't know? If you'd have told me first without ambushing a loaded question, I would have told you that I never would have chosen this -- hell, I'm guessing you never would have chosen this. But since it's happened, we'll get through it. Granted," he rubbed one of his hands over his face, "even I shudder to think of all the lies we're going to come up with on this one. But we'll figure it out. We always do."

"Because we're family?" she whispered, finally to feel like her own breath wasn't choking her.

"Because we're family." He pulled her back against him roughly. "Now damn it, you little shit, don't scare me like that again. I thought you were trying to tell me you wanted to leave me for someone you could have kids with. . .Jason's still single, isn't he?"

She almost giggled in relief as he dragged her over to the abandoned bowl of soup. "No idea. Haven't talked to him in a few years." It was a half-lie. She hadn't talked to him in years but Rachel and Julia ran into each a few times a month and Rachel had mentioned it recently.

He glared at her. "I'm still mad at you. In all the years I've known you, I've never known you to pull this kind of jackassed stunt. I can only assume it's the pregnancy hormones. But knock it off already. You want an answer to a question, ask the whole question." But one of his hands gripped hers and the other moved to caress her stomach.

"How far along are you?"

"About seven weeks. I have an ultrasound next week to try to confirm that."

He nodded, then turned to smile at her. "Any chance your bastard boyfriend could dump you when he finds out you were pregnant but that your uncle decides to be supportive and go with you?"

She took a spoonful of the soup, realizing how hungry she was as soon as she tasted it. "That might be arranged. Real bastard, this boyfriend of mine." Miles nodded absently. "Real nice, my uncle."

"Don't you believe it. Your uncle is the bigger bastard. . .he just isn't to his favorite niece."

"His only niece," she teased and he groaned.

"Thank goodness for small favors. I can't think what I'd do if I had more of you. . .but," his hand had gone to the small of her back and was rubbing small circles. "I think you'd still be my favorite."

It wasn't until after they'd finished eating, put the remains of the soup in the fridge and done the dishes that the everything really sunk in and Charlie stared around the kitchen, finally realizing that she wasn't going to have to move; wasn't going to lose Miles. Didn't have to make a choice.

The tears started slowly and he paused when he noticed them. "You okay?" he asked and she shook her head, barely trusting herself to speak.

"I though I was going to lose you," she whispered and he grabbed her, hard.

"No," he muttered into her hair. "No." He held her while she sobbed out all her frustration and fear. She was pretty sure when he made love to her afterwards that neither of them had ever been so gentle with each other.

 

The ultrasound tech moved the wand across Charlie's abdomen and the warm gel spread across her skin. The monitor looked like a bunch of meaningless blobs to Charlie but a something oblong stood out and the tech paused, one of her hands reaching out to hit a button and the image froze at the bottom of the screen. "There," the woman announced, her voice a little smug, "the very first picture of your baby."

From his seat near her side, Miles stirred then settled back, as if he remembered he couldn't seem too interested but then he reached out and took her hand, gripping it reassuringly. The tech's smile at him was approving with no suspicion and just a tiny bit of interest.

"So, can you tell old it is?" he asked and she thought his voice had just the right touch of not-quite indifferent curiosity.

"It's not my place to say. . .that's for the doctor. But if I had to guess, right around eight weeks."

She tried to think back to eight weeks ago but she couldn't remember anything particularly different in their sexual patterns. They'd always been careful but there hadn't been any condoms slipping or breaking or anything different than they'd done the whole four years they'd been together. They'd clearly just fallen victim to the odds but the tech paused again. "This is an arm." To Charlie it just seemed like two white lines but she still felt something stir inside her. It might not look particularly like an arm but whatever it was, it was part of her and Miles both and she reached up to wipe at her eyes.

Miles clearly noticed because he reached over with his other hand to pat her on the shoulder. "We'll get through this," he promised. "Charlie, I already told you, you're not going to have to do this alone. The entire family is here for you."

"Thanks, Uncle Miles," she said, trying to sound grateful and the tech's smile went sympathetic.

"That's really sweet of you. I don't think I've ever had an uncle come in before."

"Charlie lives with me," Miles told her, his smile a little crooked. "You could even say she takes care of me. Figure it's my turn to help her out now."

"Daddy not around," the woman's wry resignation sounded like she'd heard the same story countless times.

Charlie fought the impulse to correct her and shrugged. "His loss. And fortunately I do have a pretty great family, so my baby will have plenty of people to love him or her."

"You're Rachel and Ben Matheson's daughter, aren't you?" the woman asked, shrugging when Charlie looked at her in surprise. "I graduated two years ago and your parents were guest lecturers during a series of classes I was taking on theoretical energy. . .about the way we use to to image, diagnose and treat. They talked about you and your brother a lot. I didn't think anything of it when I saw your name on the charts. . .just when you walked in. You and your mom look a lot alike." From beside her, she heard the faintest snort from Miles; barely more than a sharp exhale. "I hope you don't mind me asking."

"No, of course not, I had no idea they talked about me and Danny when they're doing lectures. I used to try to go to them but frankly, I don't understand most of what they say when they talk shop."

"At least you get the general concept," Miles said, lips turning up just slightly. "I'm usually totally lost."

The tech laughed. "I barely understood half of it. I nearly cried in relief when they told us at the last class they guest-spoke at that none of their material would be in the test. Are they excited about being grandparents?"

"They don't know yet," Charlie said quietly and the woman nodded.

"Can I give you some unsolicited advice?"

"Sure?" Charlie said, shrugging.

"I don't really know your family or anything. But I've this appointment on my calender for a week now. Which means you've known. I do ultrasounds every day, so I've heard pretty much every story there is and a lot of them are from young professional women who has a guy dump them and they're usually slow to tell their families. And sure, there are some that flip out. But most of the time, the next time I see them they have their moms with them that are just so excited about being a grandma."

Charlie wondered what Rachel's reaction would be but she caught the hint of a grin from Miles. "What?"

"Just promise me I can be in the same room when I tell your parents."

 

It was two weeks later that she finally told everyone at once, not quite by accident but not exactly planned either. They'd decided mutually to wait, to enjoy their time together and figuring out what it was going to mean to be parents together, trying not to show more than usual the fact that they couldn't seem to touch each other enough.

It wasn't just some sick fantasy anymore, Charlie realized. It might have started as something dark and twisted and tapping into some kind of primal evil that rode closer to the surface of their souls that most people. The hard fucking and getting off on what they did to each other and how wrong it was had always been a part of them but she'd noticed it had slowly faded over the years, even if they still had sex damn near twice a day. She'd never really noticed when exactly they'd gotten more tender with each other; where once the demons had demanded full darkness, now they seemed content with just being connected to each other. 

She'd not really wanted to go to Rosemary's family dinner but couldn't think of a good excuse to cry off since she'd skipped the last one two days after she'd found out she was pregnant. Miles had gone without her even though he hadn't wanted to but he'd decided it was safer that way and they were less likely to get family visitors.

She sat at the table, her untouched wine in front of her while she sipped water, listening to Rosemary grilling Danny about some girl he'd gone out with the night before and scolding him for not bringing her with him that evening.

"Come on, Grandma," Danny teased, "Think about it. None of us have brought a date to dinner since Charlie and Jason broke up. Why would we want to change that now?"

Rosemary snorted, refilling her glass of gin. "That's not true. Bass brought Shelley."

"Not till after he married her, he didn't," Ben muttered.

"Speaking of Bass," Rosemary said, turning to glare at Miles. "I haven't seen him for at least two months. You two haven't had some sort of falling out, have you?"

"Just busy," Miles told her. "If Charlie and I are here, odds are he's dealing with something at work for us."

They'd contacted out a lot more of their services in the two years, since Bass had gotten married to Shelley and Miles had been increasingly more wrapped up in her. But just because they weren't working in the field didn't mean they weren't busy overseeing their agency.

"Well tell him he needs to make some time. I was sure for years that he'd eventually be my son-in-law and while I was trying to be accepting of your lifestyle, I got attached. I do admit, him getting married surprised me but I liked Shelley and I felt so bad for Bass about what happened. And that poor little girl, growing up without a mother."

"Mother," Miles growled, and Charlie hid a smile at his amusement frustration. "How many times do I have to tell you, Bass and I aren't gay. We never have been."

Rosemary shrugged and Charlie could see Danny laughing silently but not even trying to hide it, "Well I don't see why not. There's no one you two are closer two than each other. You would both be happier, I think, just settling down together."

"Mother," Ben interceded, his voice patient. "Leave Miles alone. He and Bass have known each other too long to think of each other like that. It would be like suggesting he and I should be together. Or Charlie and Danny." To Charlie's immense relief, Ben quit there, not adding 'or Miles and Charlie.' Rosemary huffed her clear disagreement. "Maybe if they'd met when they were older," Ben finally added, as if he was trying to placate his mother, which he probably was. "Besides, Miles is too set in his ways to ever get married."

"Yes," Rosemary glowered. "I had thought that friend of Charlie's. . .how is Nora?"

"Nora's never getting married either," Charlie commented. "That would mean having to pick someone and she doesn't do that."

"Well tell her to come next time too. I think she was the last person to bring a date. . .she could do that again." 

"Grandma," Danny laughed, "it's easier not to bring them. Because then you get attached and we're not."

"I do not get attached," Rosemary snapped, her tone frosty with dignity. "I just simply want great grandchildren someday and as you and Charlie are both so busy with work I'm starting to think I'm not going to get any but the likelihood goes up somewhat if either of you meet someone to settle down with."

She and Miles' eyes met across the table and he gave her an almost minute nod of approval and she took a deep breath, realizing she was never going to get a better opening.

"You can stop worrying about that, Grandma," she said, exhaling. "Because it's already going to happen." The whole table froze as her entire family turned to stare at her and she inhaled slowly. Miles' gaze was reassuring. "I'm due in September."

Danny was the first to react, shoving his chair back and nearly launching himself around the table to grab her in a hug that she thought was going to nearly knock the wind out of her but that he converted to a gentle embrace at the last second.

"Charlie," he gasped, "when did this happen?"

"About ten weeks ago." She glanced over at her parents and was surprised to see tears in Ben's eyes but her father joined her brother and she locked gazes with Rachel.

"How long have you known?" Rachel said softly and Charlie sighed. 

"Two weeks." It had been closer to three but she didn't want to admit she'd waited that long. She saw the hurt in her mother's eyes and she shrugged. "I. . .I needed to deal with some stuff out before I told everyone."

Rosemary turned to glance at Miles. "You knew?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I was there when she first found out."

Not the truth, but it sounded like a good reason for why he knew before anyone else. "The baby's father is not going to be around and Miles helped me figure out how I was going to take care of some things."

"You can come home," Rachel said, her voice sure.

"Um, Rachel," Miles said, his tone a little tentative, "I'm not so sure that's such a great idea. Charlie's lived with me for nearly four years now. I'm pretty sure that's her home now."

"Please, Miles," Rachel snorted. "You having to deal with a baby? It would make you crazy in a week."

"If he lasted that long," Rosemary muttered.

"Charlie having you and Dad hovering would make her crazy in a week," Danny snickered. "What, it's true," he replied to Rachel's glare.

"Danny may have a point," Ben said quietly, his arm around her. "But Rachel may not be wrong either. But nothing has to be decided today. There will be plenty of time to come up with something that works for everyone later." He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, "This isn't anyone we've met is it?"

"No," Charlie confirmed. "Well, Miles has."

"Good riddance, as far as I'm concerned," Miles growled. "I liked him well enough right up to where he told Charlie he'd pay whatever costs were involved with the abortion after she told him she was planning on keeping the baby. And then when she told him to go to hell he told her he'd pay whatever Illinois wanted for child support as long as he didn't have to be a part of the kid's life."

Danny snorted. "And he's still alive?"

Miles grinned, "Well, I didn't figure I'd be able to help Charlie with diapers if I was in prison. So I just told him what I thought of him and then told him to get the hell out of our house."

"He's moving to California," Charlie added. "And I told him to take his child support and put it where the sun don't shine. It means if he does change him mind later he'll have a hell of a lot harder time getting custody because if he's that sort of a person, then I really don't want to have him around my child."

Rachel suddenly smiled and Charlie was shocked at the expression. "I do get to meet him, don't I?"

"No," Charlie said firmly. "In fact, I'm not planning on telling any of you his name. Ever. He's gone and that's how we both want it. I have everything I need right here."

"Well," Rosemary said, settling back at her seat. "I think you may be right about that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote, "Once more before breakfast being an adequate substitute for 'good morning'" is from the Tanya Huff novel "Valor's Choice"


	3. Chapter 3

She thought she looked like a cow, everything swollen, but at the same time, she felt amazing. Maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was the fact Miles couldn’t get enough of her. That had never been a problem between them, but the new possessiveness was something she could definitely get used to. 

They’d always had to be so careful, around their family and friends. That one word or look that might set off the shit storm was something they’d both feared. But Miles-as-a-father was so far outside the realm of any of their thinking, no one had ever even considered it might be his, especially as he pretended he'd met Charlie's ex-boyfriend who had bailed as soon as he'd learned she was pregnant. Rachel had been furious and had tried to get them to tell her a name but Charlie had announced that if he would behave like that she'd rather not have him around her child and Rachel had eventually relented and agreed it was probably best. 

When one of their clients asked her for coffee after they'd done pre-employment drug screens for his company, Miles had agreed it wouldn't be a bad idea if she went on a few dates with the man so no one wondered why they never saw her with anyone.

He'd been a little taken aback when she'd told him she was pregnant but she'd told him she'd only accepted his offer because she didn't want her family feeling sorry for her and he seemed to understand. They'd met for coffee several other times and he'd even gone to one or Rosemary's dinners with her before he'd drifted away.

She just still couldn’t shake the way Miles had looked at her the evening she’d dropped by Rosemary's with Henry trailing behind her. She was pretty sure the only thing that had kept him in his seat had been Danny’s hand on his arm. She and her brother had never actually talked, not really. But he’d asked her a few times if she was happy, his eyes worried. But he’d always accepted her answer of she was doing fine and lately he’d even actually seemed happy for her. It had been, she realized, since she’d announced she was pregnant and the father was no longer in the picture and wouldn't be either. Since Miles had declared to the family that she wasn’t moving out – even though Ben and Rachel had offered to set her up with an apartment so she could be “independent.” Her brilliant parents hadn’t even seemed to notice the irony in that statement. They’d been worried for her and Miles both, she knew. Worried that he’d feel pressured to keep letting her live in his spare room and growing resentful with having to deal with a baby since Miles was so clearly not father material.

She’d chosen a shorter skirt than she usually wore, her top just a little tighter. She wasn’t sure why looking just a little more sexy around her family had seemed important when she’d picked her clothes but she wanted to look happy, like they didn’t need to worry her or pity her because the fool who’d let her go. . .well he could go fuck himself.

“You ready,” Miles whispered and she nodded as she slid out of the car. He’d have been around to open the door for her if she’d have given him the chance but she wasn’t sure who’d be watching and there were limits. She hated them – hated having to hide who she was and who they were but the alternatives were unimaginable. She wasn’t sure what her parents would do. Legally, there wasn’t much. But they might keep it to themselves and harrang her and Miles practically to death. It might turn into a family fight with some members on one side and some on the other. But she didn’t want to force Danny to choose between his parents and his sister. That had seemed cruel. Rachel would easily settle on her as the victim and Miles as the evil sexual predator; never mind that she had been twenty-one and he’d tried to walk away. Ben would side with his wife but he’d be more hurt because it had been his brother that he’d trusted. Her grandmother. She shuddered. That didn’t even bear thinking about. She’d get enough of Rosemary in a few minutes.

They walked inside together, his fingers brushing her back in the last possible moments in the doorway before Rachel was there to hug them both and exclaim over her and how amazing she looked and give Miles that look that seemed to say “thank you for taking care of my baby.” It was almost embarrassing how much Rachel seemed to misunderstand everything and sometimes she wondered how her brilliant mother had been so blind.

“Hey, Charlie. Miles. Everyone is in back. Go on out.” She led them through to the back deck, pulling an iced beer for Miles and handing Charlie a glass of lemonade without asking if either of them wanted a drink. Miles cracked his beer immediately and took two quick pulls but she knew he’d nurse it for as much of the rest of the day as he could. He’d never been one to drive much after drinking but since he’d found out she was pregnant he’d been extra careful.

Charlie hadn’t quite even gotten the cup to her mouth when she caught sight of a familiar figure talking to her grandmother. Jason turned, as if hearing her voice and he smiled like he was surprised to see her. “Hey, Charlie,” he commented and she could tell he was trying to sound casual. “You look good.”

“Thanks,” she said, knowing her voice sounded flat and a little hostile. “You too.” The sad thing was, it was true. His shoulders had broadened, and his close-cropped hair showed off his even features. “Didn’t expect to see you here.” He had, she recalled, gotten his degree as a paramedic and gone to work for one of the fire departments.

He shrugged. “Well, we have a lot of downtime so I’m taking some on-line classes. Figure I might as well go for my masters while I’m sitting around. But I picked an astronomy class that’s kicking my butt and I don’t want to drop it so I figured I’d see if Danny could help me out. I thought it was going to be just identifying constellations, but our instructor just graduated, we’re his first class and he’s trying to show off his education by being a dick and making sure we all know how much smarter he is than us.”

Danny would definitely be able to help with that, Charlie realized, but she noticed the way Rachel was suddenly obsessed with making sure everyone had the right drink. And since when had her mother ever cared about being the perfect hostess? Charlie turned to glare at her mother but her grandmother rose, tottering slightly and Charlie, Jason, Miles and Rachel all reached for her.

“Oh my,” Rosemary smiled, leaning against Jason, “you are strong, aren’t you? Rachel, honey, get me another champagne cocktail, would you?”

“Really, Mother?” Miles growled. “Maybe some lemonade?”

“If I wanted lemonade,” Rosemarie snapped, “I’d have asked for it. Don’t see you drinking it, do I?” She tilted her head as his beer. Rosemary sat back down without any assistance but somehow Charlie ended up with Jason’s hand on her arm. She watched Miles’ eyes darken as he noticed and she wanted to shake him off but Jason was settling her in a chair next to his as if he hanging out with pregnant ex-girlfriends was nothing and she begged Miles with her eyes not to make a scene.

She was pretty sure he didn’t even notice, but to her relief he was glaring at his mother. “Never mind, help me inside, would you Miles?” Miles looked like he wanted to protest but Rosemary swayed when she stood again, even though Charlie was pretty sure her grandmother had no problem walking on her own usually nor had she drank that much. Rachel drifted in after them – no surprise there – and Charlie finally turned to look at Jason. 

He was staring wistfully at her and she tried to remind herself they’d been broken up since they’d graduated high school nearly a decade ago. She’d done things right – broken with him cleanly, nearly three years before Miles. She would be twenty-six soon – which meant she and Miles had been together almost five years. But she still felt bad that Jason had loved her while she’d never really loved him.

“I wasn’t lying, Charlie. You look really good. Happy. I’m sorry I haven’t gotten in touch with you before now.”

“She call you?”

He looked confused and a little annoyed, which meant she might have been right. “What are you talking about?”

“My mother. Did she call you?”

“No. Of course not.” Jason had always sucked at lying so she believed him but he sighed and she knew he was holding something back. She raised one eyebrow and he grimaced. “But I heard about. . .you know,” he waved at her, hand motions vague. “This astronomy class really is kicking my butt. . .but I did call to talk to Danny because I was hoping it would give me a chance to see you too. I’m surprised you’re still living with Miles. I know how he feels about kids.”

“Miles is my family,” she said softly. “And he will always be there for me. Always.” It might have been a cruel thing to say, considering how the same couldn’t be said for Jason’s family, but it was better than screaming, ‘It’s his baby too and he’s super excited about being a dad’ which was all true, even if he couldn’t do anything more than pretend to be the doting Uncle.

She saw the bitter twist of Jason’s lips. “Well, anyway, I called to talk to Danny yesterday but he wasn’t here and your Mom suggested I stop by and see him.”

“And have you?”

“Yeah, I was up with him for about an hour before you got here. He talked me through about a dozen concepts that made no sense in class but I think I actually understand them now. Which means I might actually pass my midterm. I wasn’t sure I would. This guy is. . .well, he’s something else.”

Jason wasn’t stupid. He’d excelled in every class he’d ever been in during high school and from what she’d heard, he’d done just fine in college. But she decided she didn’t want to fight about how well he was doing in a class and leaned back in her chair, sipping at the lemonade. She was so grateful that the early morning sickness that had plagued her the first trimester had finally stopped about three weeks before. Six months down, three to go. She was more than half-done, she reminded herself, realizing her hand had started to rub slow circles along her stomach and she forced it to stop.

Jason was staring at her hand but moved his eyes back to her face when she looked at him. “So who was this douche?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said slowly. “He’s not a bad person . . .there was just too much that went along with it that neither of us could deal with.”

“I’m surprised,” Jason rumbled, his voice deep. “I thought Miles. . . .” she felt herself go cold and hot all over as he trailed off and for an instant felt like she was going to pass out. But she choked her protests, part of her wanting to beg him to not tell anyone and part of her wanting to dare him to tell everyone. Hell, she’d do it herself rather than let him blackmail her. “Well, would have done something to anyone who would treat you like that. Not just let him get away with it like that.”

Her slamming heart was still pumping blood with heavy surges but she felt the sick sensation fade when she realized he thought Miles would just have beat up on someone who would have gotten her pregnant and left. It took her a moment to realize he’d taken her hand, his thick fingers, sliding against her skin in a twisted parody of everything she should want but that’s she’d thrown away for the one man she shouldn’t love.

She started to pull her hand back but he gripped it, the firm pressure a plea but not a demand. She knew she could get away if she really wanted to. “I miss you, Charlie,” he said softly, his voice near her ear every bit as much a caress as his skin on her knuckles. “I just. . .”

She inhaled and exhaled slowly. She hadn’t started going to the birthing classes yet but she’d gotten a few lectures from friends and co-workers about breathing. “Just what?” she finally managed.

“I just wish things had been different between us. And I wonder if maybe they still could be?”

She took her hand back, gently, so as not to cause too much damage to his soul. She’d never loved him, but he still meant something to her; just not in the way he wanted. She’d known that for a long time. It felt like safer territory as she patted her belly. “Yeah well, that’s a little complicated.” He had no idea how much. “I’m kind of a package deal right now and that’s probably not a place either of us want to be. Besides,” she snorted, “you remember what your mother thought of me the last time. Can you imagine what she’d say now? And your Dad?”

His face went mulish and she regretted the comment. “I don’t let my family make those sorts of decisions for me, Charlie. I never have. Yeah, my parents are a bit of a pain in the ass. So what? So are everyone’s.” He jerked his head towards the house, as if to remind her that her mother hadn’t always been as nice to him as she’d been today. “What about what you want?”

She wondered, for just an instant, what how he’d react if she said what she wanted was to let everyone know she was happy with Miles and happy with the family they were starting. But she was too tired to deal with the criticism and screams and recriminations. “I want to figure out what I need to do to have a life with me and this baby. I need to figure out how to be a Mom.” The subtext was because she sure as hell hadn’t learned that from her own mother.

She felt his breath on her ear. “And what about later?” His lips were practically against her shoulder. “What about you? You shouldn’t need to do this alone. You don’t have to do it alone.”

Part of her felt sad to say it and another part of her swelled with the pride and contentment she was trying so hard not to let anyone ever see on her face. “But I’m not alone.”

He sighed, clearly thinking she’d missed his point but he stood. “Yeah, you’ve got your family, don’t you? But that’s not what I meant. There’s only so much they can do and one day you’re going to realize even with family, you’re still alone.”

She knew exactly what he meant by that. And if Miles had been nothing more than just a doting uncle taking care of his knocked-up niece, she would have agreed with him. But the memory of waking up that morning to find him staring at her -- his hair sticking in all directions from where her hands had clutched at it in the middle of the night – his gaze dark and hungry as his fingers had slid along her abdomen where his child swelled it outward for the entire world to see his mark on her, even if they didn’t know it was his, was enough to fill the heart that should have been empty.

“Maybe someday I will be. But not now. “

The sorrow in his eyes showed but he stepped away. “When your family isn’t enough for you, I only hope I’m still here. Even I have to move on someday, Charlie.”

“I never asked you not to,” she said, her voice just a little sharper than she meant it to be because she really had never wanted to hurt him.

“I’m not doing this for you.” His hand reached for her then dropped back to his side. “You know, when I first heard you were pregnant, I had this stupid fantasy that maybe you’d finally let me help take care of you. Wasn’t that dumb? I never could get you anything that Miles hadn’t already managed to get you first.”

Some of her anger must have shown on her face because his bitterness turned to sorrow. “I know that you can take care of yourself – that you always have been able to. But I was hoping you’d maybe let me help.” He bent over and kissed her gently on her cheek. “Sorry I’m being such an ass. . .I just. . .really hoped things might be different this time but I can see that was foolish of me.”

She felt the tears choking at her throat because she still cared about him, just not enough and she heard herself whisper, “I’m sorry.”

His grin was almost cheerful, “Yeah, so am I. But hey, at least I know it’s not just me now?” She tilted her head to the side in question and he shrugged. “I used to think it was something I did. But you never let anyone inside the walls if they weren’t family.” He gestured at her. “For instance, consider that poor bastard.” She felt a blaze of rage for just an instant before she realized he didn’t mean the baby. “Did he even have any idea what he was getting himself in for? Though what an idiot. To walk away from you.”

She wasn’t sure if she should feel insulted or complimented so she settled on a smile that showed just a little bit of teeth. “Maybe he was the smart one.”

“Don’t believe it,” he muttered and then his wry grin re-asserted itself. “Do. . .would you mind if I keep talking to Danny? I’m really not kidding about this astronomy class thing, even if I did use it as an excuse.”

She shook her head, not quite trusting her voice for a few seconds but then she swallowed the threatening ache of tears. “No, go ahead. You two always did have a lot in common.”

“Probably why I managed to last as long as I did. I’d better go or I’m going to say something even more epicly stupid than what I already have.”

They both snorted and she could tell he almost leaned down to kiss her but he turned away without touching her and it wasn’t until he was back in the house that she let out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

“So,” Danny said, coming out a few moments later, balancing a tray with milk and cookies on it, “was that as awkward as it looked?” 

“No, I think it was worse.” He glanced at her lemonade, grabbed the glass and drained it before handing her a glass of milk. “What? Lemonade is perfectly safe for pregnant women.”

“Milk’s better. More calcium, less sugar.” She arched one eyebrow, glancing pointedly at the plate of cookies. “Okay, maybe that’s a moot point. Is he going to be okay?”

“Not sure. You know Jason. Sometimes it’s really hard to tell. He was hoping for a different outcome.”

Danny shrugged. “That’s nothing new. Hope you don’t mind me helping him out with his homework. His professor really is a douche. I’m reading over his course stuff and it has absolutely no business being in a core-level class. I think I’m taking this class next term just to put this guy in his place.”

“You’re working on your doctorate in bioengineering? Why take a core-level astronomy class? For that matter, if Jason’s working on his Masters, why is he taking it?”

Danny chewed his cookie absently. “He took a lot of higher-level classes that he used to count towards his Bachelors’. If he takes some lower-level credits, he can petition to have them applied to the lower degree and free the others up to count towards his Masters. Me, I’m thinking of doing it because this guy sounds like a dick and you know what I think of overly-pretentious pretend scientists.”

“You know it’s mean to totally crush someone’s ego to dust, don’t you?”

He shrugged. “Well, I figure I shouldn’t be the only Matheson that doesn’t do it on a regular basis. Besides, what’s worse? Me crushing his ego or him being left unchecked to crush all his students. I know I can’t save them all. But I can save these ones.”

Anyone, she reflected, grabbing a cookie of her own, who thought she was the dangerous one, clearly hadn’t paid nearly enough attention to her brother.

She heard footsteps and didn’t even need to turn to know that Miles was coming up behind her. She tried not to smile because Danny was watching her but she couldn’t help the fact that the tension that had built up in her shoulders talking to Jason was starting to loosen, just knowing Miles was near.

“Get grandma all settled?” Danny asked and Miles snorted.

“Yeah. She took fifteen minutes sending Rachel and I to play fetch-and-carry but as soon as she saw Jason leave she was up again, fully recovered. Not even a hint of subtlety.”

Miles seated himself in the chair next to Charlie and leaned over to reach for the plate. His arm brushed along her collarbone and he took a long time to pick the cookie he wanted and Charlie tried not to let satisfaction show on her face with her brother sitting right there.

“Well,” Danny snickered, “She’s a Matheson. Why would she be the first to have it?”


	4. Chapter 4

A YEAR LATER

Arianne's fever had finally broken and Charlie watched Miles rocking his daughter to sleep, his face totally focused on the baby. Almost not a baby, Charlie corrected. Ari's first birthday had been just two months before and she was toddling around, starting to get into things and lisping small words. "Oh," Charlie said, reminded of earlier. "She said 'sheep' today.

Miles bent over and kissed Ari on the top of the head, where her blond curls clung to her moist forehead. "Why the hell would she say sheep? Where would she even know about them?"

"No idea." There were no toy sheep anywhere in the house or Bass' house and she didn't even recall seeing them at the day care. "But we're both going to have to watch our language or 'hell' will be next." Miles grimaced agreement and Charlie walked over to brush her hands through both their hair. "We're going to have to a be a lot more careful. In fact. . .I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do about our rooms. Eventually she's going to notice that I'm not sleeping in the room down the hall. And yeah, we have a few years to worry about it but. . . ."

"What about that room I use as my office? It's right next to our bedroom and I can put a door between them and then we can figure out some reason to move you into that room."

"What would be the reason for that?" she sighed, recognizing her tendency to think the worst and trying not to sound hopeless. Miles was looking everywhere but at her and when he suddenly turned towards her he was almost glaring in his intensity.

"What about. . .if. . .what if we needed another room?"

"Another room for what?" she asked, settling herself with her hip against his shoulder and reaching an arm around his neck.

"What if we needed it for another baby?" She froze and he sighed. "I know you might not want to have another one and I totally understand if you don't. . . ."

"What would we tell people," she sighed. "That I accidentally got pregnant twice."

"Tell them you didn't want Ari growing up an only child. Tell them you picked someone who agreed to be a biological parent as long as he didn't have to be around. Tell them you wanted Ari to have the same thing with a sibling you had with Danny." His tone was almost defensive.

"It almost sounds like you've thought about this?" she teased but froze when his glare was almost mulish.

"So what if I have? Maybe I remember having my brother and I want Ari to have the same thing. Would that be terrible?" He leaned over to nuzzle the top of Ari's head. "And maybe I do want another one too. It's wrong but it's worked out with Ari. I shouldn't want it, but . . . ."

She leaned in, a hard kiss that she hoped told him how very much she loved him. "How long have you been thinking about this?"

He shrugged, shifting Ari so he could wrap an arm around Charlie's waist. "A couple of months. What would you think of that?"

"I think," she whispered in his ear, "I would have never expected that of you, Miles Matheson. But then again, I thought I couldn't possibly love you more and yet, I just might."

He stood gently, swaying slightly as he moved over to Ari's crib and checked to make sure she was really asleep before he settled her and tucked a blanket around her. "I'm getting a carpenter tomorrow to look at that door. And then don't forget to tell everyone what an amazing person your uncle is to move his office downstairs so his d. . .grand-niece could have her own room and not have to share with her sibling." She caught just the hint of frustration in his voice and she felt her breath catch."

"Did you ever think. . .that maybe if you were with someone else you could have all this," she looked around the nursery, "and be able to admit it. Not have to pretend you're just an uncle."

He kissed her and she felt him hard against her through his jeans as he wrapped his fingers into her hair. "Not for a second. Because that would mean having to be without you and nothing is worth that."


	5. Chapter 5

FIVE YEARS LATER

Charlie held Leigh against her for what felt like a very long time before letting her daughter go and standing up. The little girl -- her hair as dark as Miles' but with far more curl than either Miles or Charlie -- barely glanced at her as she bounced over to where Rachel and Danny were sorting out bags. "No, Grandma," the three year old lisped, "I want to carry my own backpack."

"Why don't you let me carry it for you," Danny said, leaning over to fluff her hair with his hand and making his niece giggle. "Ari, you ready?"

Her older daughter nodded, looking a little more hesitant as she clung to Charlie's arm. Charlie dropped to a knee, brushing Ari's blond hair back away from her face. "Baby, you don't have to go if you changed your mind."

Ari blinked, her eyes shiny, but she grimaced and Charlie saw herself in her daughter's face, even if her personality was purely Miles'. "I do want to. But I'm going to miss you."

"You can call home every day," Rachel promised. "Besides, Gail would miss you. And so would Leigh."

"And so would I," Danny said, kneeling down next to his oldest niece. What do you say, Arianne?"

Ari nodded, giving Charlie another hug but her smile was excited and Charlie straightened. "You guys have fun, okay. I'll see you soon."

It had been Rachel's idea for her and Ben to take the girl's to Texas for two weeks to Rachel's parents who they so rarely saw and Danny had decided to go with them. It was the first time Charlie and the girls had been apart longer than a few days and she blinked back tears, knowing she was doing the right thing letting them go but at the same time almost wishing she'd have decided to go as well. But Rachel had told her specifically that she thought the time would be good for all of them; Charlie and the girls both. Ben had planned to fly with them but a last minute meeting with the editor of his latest book -- something Charlie knew she'd buy and display on the same shelf as his and Rachel's other books but would probably never read -- before publication had forced him to fly to New York first and he would be joining them the next day.

Ari had been more reluctant when she found out Charlie wasn't going but Rachel had cleverly solved that by inviting Gail to go with them. While Gail and Ari weren't friends on the same level as Miles and Bass, they were still close and Charlie knew Rachel thought the trip would be as good for eight-year-old Gail as it would for six-year-old Ari and four-year-old Leigh.

If only, Charlie thought, she could convince herself of that as well. Danny grinned at her as he passed her, reaching out to pat her on the shoulder. "Relax, Charlie. Enjoy your time off. Hey, maybe even find someone and arrange another sibling for them," he whispered into her ear.

"Two is enough, thank you," she growled back. She'd gotten her tubes tied and Miles had chosen to have a vasectomy as well after Leigh had been born. "It's your turn, little brother."

He made a face at her as she hugged her daughters again before helping get them settled into Rachel's car. "Don't forget to actually take some time off and enjoy yourself," he teased. "And I don't just mean inhaling the paint fumes." She'd decided to take the time while the girls were gone to repaint their rooms from the soft lavender and mint colors she'd used for both the nurseries. Ari had chosen a soft blue but Leigh had elected a bold green that wasn't quite lime or olive but had hints of each with vivid purple trim.

She'd thought at first that the paint colors were reflections of her daughters' personalities; Ari wanting something soothing and Leigh grabbing the most vibrant possible choice. But there were so many facets of them both and she also couldn't help but notice that Leigh -- for all her adventurousness had chosen different shades of the familiar hues while Ari had gone with something totally new.

The girls had packed their toys into boxes that they'd carted down to the garage before they had left and Charlie spent a few hours moving the remaining contents of both girls' rooms into her room -- no need to keep up pretenses with her entire family out of state. She was just finishing securing the second drop cloth when she heard Miles' car and glanced at her watch. She'd taken the day off to get the girls on their way and he'd promised to leave early for them to do something together and she realized she was hungry from skipping lunch and it was nearly 7pm.

"Hey," she said as Miles came up the stairway and he looked around the empty rooms, stepping into Leigh's and walking towards the window.

"Seems so weird, not having them here."

"I miss them already," Charlie confessed. She'd talked to them on the phone at their layover in Atlanta and Rachel had promised to call as soon as they landed in Austin.

"Me too," Miles said, but he reached over to grab her around the waist and yank her close to him. "But I've also missed getting to do this around the house." He leaned in and kissed her, his tongue delving into her mouth and leaving her nearly breathless. The near decade they'd been together still hadn't changed the way just the feel of his skin made her ache inside and the sensation of his mouth on hers drew a small moan from the back of her throat. "Damn it, Charlie," Miles rasped as he drew back. "I should be getting too old for you to make me feel this way." One of his hands slid up to cup the underside of her left breast and the other hand yanked her hip flush to his and she could feel his erection.

She leaned her head back, giving him access to her neck and shoulder and he walked backwards out of Leigh's room and into the hallway. "MIles," she managed to gasp as his hands went to her ass and he lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his hips, grinding heself into him. He shoved her back against the wall and she nearly came from just the pressure on her clit through her clothes but he shifted forward to bite her lower lip almost reverently and she growled as he laughed at her.

"Remember this?" he whispered. "Me fucking you anywhere in the house I wanted to? Anywhere you wanted me to?" She did remember it. There hadn't been many surfaces they hadn't christened at one time or another in the five-odd years they'd been together before Ari had been born and they'd started being more discreet.

"You ever miss it?" she gasped as he pressed himself against her again and rocked, just enough to send sensations through her whole body but not enough to actually get her off.

"Sometimes. But I think the trade off is worth it. Besides," his hands went to her hips again and he steadied himself as he carried her into their room and lowered her onto the bed, "I really think -- as much fun as we had everywhere else, I like you here."

"You just think it's easier on your knees," she laughed and he grinned at her.

"Damn right it is. Besides," he caught the cuff of her jeans near her shoe and pulled them up enough to expose a strip of skin above her sock and pressed his lips to it, "I can reach more of you this way." He was teasing the skin with his teeth and tongue and she pulled at his shirt to get it free of the waistband of his slacks.

They separated briefly to strip off their clothes -- they still enjoyed undressing each other regularly but sometimes when speed was a factor, it was faster do do it themselves -- and Miles bit down on her shoulder, shielding his teeth with his lips but there was enough pressure she was pretty sure it was going to leave a mark. "I want you now," she gasped and he grabbed her earlobe between his lips, sucking for a moment as he drove into her with enough force to make her gasp.

"Good, because I needed you too," he panted into her ear as she twined her legs around his and met his downward thrusts with upward movements of her own. "Fuck, you feel so good. You always feel so good."

"So do you," she whispered back as he groaned, his hands moving her anchor her against the bed. She was pretty sure his fingers were going to leave bruises and she found it surprisingly satisfying to know he was marking her. Besides, she was pretty sure she wouldn't be the only one with bruises in the morning.

Miles was setting a deliberately slow place, she realized, and she murmured into his ear and he nodded, rolling them over so she was riding him. He tilted his head back but kept his eyes locked on hers, mouth curving up into a smile as he palmed her breasts, squeezing them gently.

She could feel the sensation building and knew she was close as she rocked her hips against his, her clit sliding against his pubic bone with every motion. His expression turned into a grin and she knew he was aware how close to the edge she was and he sat up just enough to capture her mouth with his and she broke the rhythm as her orgasm washed over her, her body racked with uncontrollable trembles. He kept thrusting up into her, giving her no respite from the sensation and then she felt the heat at her core and he fell back against the pillows and she collapsed on top of him, her hair going everywhere -- his was too but it was shorter so it usually didn't get in her face. 

Her stomach growled and Miles laughed. "Well, sounds like I'd better feed you. I'd planned to eat on the way but I think I'm going to revise that a little."

"On the way to where?" They talked about possibly going to a movie but usually they preferred to just watch them at home where they could cuddle more conspicuously.

His grin was boyish as he helped her off the bed and opened the closet to reveal two travel cases side-by-side in his half of the closet. "You know how you took four days off the paint the girls' rooms?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, I changed it six days for both of us, told Bass that paint fumes make me nuts and I think you need a break so I've hired someone to come in and paint while we are elsewhere."

"You're insane," she breathed into his shoulder as she stepped in to hug him. "And I love you for it. Where are we going?"

"You remember that little bed and breakfast we went to in Minnesota?" They'd been meeting with a potential client not far from the Canadian border a few months after she'd gotten pregnant with Leigh. The man had been a complete flake and Miles had elected not to work with him but they'd still had three days in an amazing old house. They hadn't meant to mislead the proprietor but the elderly woman had assumed they were husband and wife. It had been one of the few time she and Miles had dared to be openly affectionate in public and she hated going back to hiding it when the trip had ended.

At one point they had talked about moving to away from all their family to start over but they'd both known that in order to do that, they'd have to cut all ties with their family -- blood and adopted -- and neither of them had been able to do that.

"Yeah, I remember it."

"Any objection to going back?"

Six whole days of not having to wonder who was watching if she and Miles wanted to take a walk and hold hands, to sneak a kiss or worry about what people saw in their eyes. She felt her lips curve up and she sighed as she stepped in to hug him. "I love you."

 

She was just getting dressed after her post-sex shower when her cell phone started to ring and she grabbed it, zipping her jeans and shoving her feet into flip-flops. "Danny, what's the word?"

"We're about five minutes out." 

"Okay, see you soon." She felt her stomach start to tremble as she hung up her phone, calling, "Miles, they're almost here," down the hall. 

He came out of their room, pulling a t-shirt over his head. "About time."

Danny had called them when they'd touched down, when they'd been at baggage claim and when they had left their airport. Charlie had offered to meet them at the airport to help deal with the girls and the luggage but Danny had told her waiting at home would be easier so they didn't have to deal with trying to have their reunion where a thousand people were watching and walking around and the girls weren't distracted by everything at the airport. The reasoning had sounded a little sideways to Charlie but she also hadn't minded the last scrap of time with Miles, even if she also missed their daughters with an ache that was almost physical. It had been wonderful to have the chance to not have to hide what they were and let others draw their own conclusions from the way they had touched. None of the seven other guests that had come and gone during that stay had attributed their shared last name to anything other than husband and wife. 

She paced around the hallway, pausing only long enough to get one last, lingering kiss from Miles as they heard the car in the driveway. She went sprinting out only to stop abruptly when she recognized Bass' car. She tried not to let her disappointment show but Bass only gave her a distracted grin.

"Hey, Charlie. Danny called and said to meet them here. You going as nuts as I am?"

"Yeah," she admitted. "This time has been great. . .but I want my daughters home."

"I completely agree. Miles inside?"

She nodded and he walking towards the steps when she heard the door behind her open and Miles' voice behind her. "Hey, Bass."

She didn't know if she missed Bass' response or if he just didn't reply because she caught sight of Rachel's car. To her surprise, Danny was the only one in it -- Rachel must have driven home with Ben -- and he opened his door, gesturing with a flourish at the back seat. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you your children home unharmed. Mostly."

Gail and Ari had already freed themselves of their seats but Danny had to help Leigh with hers -- if her younger daughter's face was anything to go by, that didn't make her happy. Bass was already hugging Gail by the time Ari reached her and Charlie buried her face in her older daughter's shoulder for just a moment before Leigh raced up to them and Charlie grabbed her as well, having her few precious moment between her girls before Ari pulled away. Charlie felt a moment of worry before she saw Ari griping Miles' waist and she smiled, even if she couldn't admit how glad she was to see that Ari had clearly missed him as much as she had her.

 

It was nearly eleven before the girls had finally fallen asleep. Their bedtime was usually eight but with the time changes and the flight, she wasn't surprised it had taken them much longer than normal to go through their bedtime routine.

She walked into her room, stripping off her clothes and letting them fall to the floor before opening the pocket door Miles had installed between his room and his study before she'd moved rooms just after she'd gotten pregnant with Leigh -- while Ari was still too young to understand or ever remember Charlie and Miles sharing a room.

Miles was at his desk, typing something into his laptop. His shirt was on the floor next to the desk but he was still wearing his jeans and Charlie walked over to trace her fingers across the corded ropes of muscles on his shoulders and forearms.

"Hey," he whispered. "They out?"

"Completely." He saved the document he was working on and then shut his laptop down as he stood to embrace her. "Do you ever wonder. . .if we hadn't had them. . .if we could have. . . ." She trailed off, thinking of their time in Minnesota, not lying other than by omission.

Miles was tender as he leaned over to kiss her, tongue dipping between her teeth as his hands pulled her hips against his. "That was fantasy. I won't lie and say it wasn't nice, because it was. But this," he gestured around the room. "This, Charlie, is real. And I wouldn't give it up. Not even to not have to pretend anymore." He sounded almost reluctant and she thought back to the moment -- holding Gail -- when she knew she wouldn't end her pregnancy, even if it meant losing Miles, because the baby was a part of him as well.

"I understand," she whispered, reaching up to wrap her hands around his biceps. 

"Of course you do," he purred against her lips. "Because we're family."


	6. Chapter 6

THIRTEEN YEARS LATER

Her head pounded, eyes aching as she climbed the stairs and Charlie managed to curl up into a semi-comfortable position in her bed. The mattress was six years old but she'd used it so little it was practically brand new and she fought the urge to just go curl up on her side of Miles' bed. She didn't know if she'd be awake when the girls finished school and she decided she'd probably be too worried about sleeping through them getting home to get real rest.

When she woke it was after five and she lay in bed, relishing the fact that she felt much better, though her throat was still a little tight. If she took the next day off she'd be fine for a meeting Miles had scheduled Thursday for potential clients and he liked her to talk about the lab.

She heard two sets of footsteps on the stairs and yawned, trying to decide if she should get out of bed but the warmth from the blankets felt so wonderful she just relaxed. The girls went into their own rooms and she was starting to doze when she heard Leigh's voice through the wall and knew Leigh had joined Ari. They were going over something homework related and she smiled, thinking of her and Danny and how glad she was that Leigh and Ari were so close.

She was wondering if she should get up to let them know one of them was cooking dinner or they could get takeout when she heard Leigh slam her book closed. "I hate biology." She missed whatever Ari replied with but Leigh's retort was clear. "I know it's not hard. But it's genetics and I'm missing half of my own. We both are. Doesn't that ever bug you?"

"No," Ari replied simply and Charlie marvelled at how much she sounded like her uncle. Leigh, on the other hand, was more like her. That subtle discontent with life-as-it-was and wanting to know what was over the next horizon. For Chalie, that horizon had been Miles and being with him had quieted that demons that had once felt like they had been gnawing at her soul. For Leigh, that demon was the fact she thought she had a hole in her family and Charlie's heart ached that she couldn't just tell her the truth.

"How does it not?" Leigh shot back and Charlie could hear the anger in her voice that had been lashing out more frequently. Part of it, she hoped, was that Leigh was still sixteen and irritated her eighteen year old sister had a great deal more privileges than she did. She made a mental note to try to find an activity Leigh might like to help burn off some of the extra energy that was spilling out on other members of her family, sometimes without warning.

"Because if we had 'fathers' we might not have each other. And you're worth more to me than any person we could call 'Dad'," Ari said and Charlie marvelled at the way Ari could logically look at more angles that most people would ever consider. "If our family was perfect, it wouldn't be our family. And nothing would ever make me give that up."

"But what about genetic histories? Cancer? High blood pressure? Risk of heart attack or stroke?"

"Not worried about it." Ari sounded a little too casual, even to Charlie who was hearing her through a wall. She suddenly realized the girls had likely come in through the front door; doubtful they'd seen her car in the garage and probably thought she was still at work.

"Why not. Look, I'm not asking for us to set up regular visitation. But I think we should at least tell Mom she needs to let us know our father's names. She's never told us who they were."

"She doesn't need to. Mine didn't want anything to do with me or her after she got pregnant and yours agreed because she wanted another baby. For all we know, she could have just used a sperm bank."

"Sperm banks would have given her a genetic history. I checked that already."

"Besides, what do we need dads for. We have Uncle Miles."

"Yeah but. . ." Charlie felt her own throat tighten at the tears in Leigh's voice. "What do we do if he ever decides he wants to get married. 

"Leigh, Uncle Miles is 65 years old. If he was going to get married, he'd have done it already." She could hear the irritation in Ari's voice, which was unusual

"Well he doesn't look it. Or act it," Leigh snapped. "What's wrong about wanting to know who our family is? That's all Mom ever talks about. Family. And she's cut off half of ours. Uncle Miles may be great and all that. . .but I'm going to tell Mom she needs to tell me who my Dad is."

"Just drop it," Ari snapped. "She won't tell you. You think I didn't already ask? Just leave it alone."

"No," Leigh shot back and Charlie was on the verge of going in to break up whatever fight they were starting when she heard Ari sob.

"You really want to know why she won't ever tell us? Fine. It's because Uncle Miles IS our dad." Charlie felt her heart stop and she physically couldn't move, even if she hadn't wanted to. "And you can't ever tell anyone. EVER."

"That's not true," Leigh cried.

"It is true," Ari screamed. "And if you were't so stupid, you'd have figured it out already."

"But. . .but he's her UNCLE."

"So. If you'd do your history homework along with your biology homework you'd know that its only been in the last eighty years people haven't been marrying their own uncles or cousins or even in some cases where a dynasty was involved, a parent or a sibling. And no one cared. It was even expected in a lot of cases. Leigh, how could you have missed the fact they love each other?"

"Not like that?"

"Really?" Ari's voice had gone harsh. "Why do you think there's that door between their bedrooms? The house certainly wasn't built that way."

"Uncle Miles had it put in to use as an office," Leigh protested. "But he let Mom move in there so we didn't have to share a room after I was born."

"Bullshit. How could you not notice that they both ALWAYS lock their doors at night. And no matter which door we knock on if we need something, it always takes one of them a really long time to answer the door. Haven't you ever watched them when they think no one's looking. They love each other like crazy but they have to hide if from everyone. They have to hide it from us. Because if anyone knew. . . ."

Charlie had her hand pressed over her mouth to stifle her sobs as she stumbled out of her room and both girls turned to stare at her. Leigh was utterly white but Ari's face was blotchy red. When she held out her hand, Ari grabbed for it but Leigh took a step back.

"I. . .I wasn't feeling well so I came home earlier," Charlie managed to gasp.

"How much of is true?" Leigh asked, her voice thin but steady.

"All of it," Charlie said and Ari started to sob. "I'm so sorry. I. . .didn't want to. Neither of us wanted this. But. . .we. . .we couldn't live without each other."

Ari clutched at her tighter but Leigh's face set, jaw stubborn hand she stared Charlie in the eyes. "You're a sick fucking bitch. I'm going to tell everyone. And then I'm going to go live with Grandma and Grandpa because I never want to see you again."

She stepped past Charlie and then broke into a run, slamming her door and Charlie heard the sound of wild screams just after the click of the lock. Ari was sobbing, "I'm sorry, Mama. I'm so sorry," over and over and Charlie choked back her own cries, even if the tears will still falling.

"Shhh, shh, shh. It's okay, baby," she whispered into her oldest daughters hair. "It's okay. I should have told you both a long time ago."

"You didn't have to tell me," Ari sobbed. "I always knew. I thought she knew too, at least one some level. I should have just kept quiet."

"No." Charlie slumped against the hallway wall, arms still wrapped around Ari and she slid them both down to the floor. "Baby, this is my fault. Not yours. And we'll fix it somehow."

She honestly didn't know how but she closed her eyes, imagining the hell the next twenty-four hours would be. Her whole family. . .everyone she'd not wanted to find out -- and she'd have to listen to their threats and lectures and being told she was wrong to love the one person in the world who made her whole.

She must have sat there for nearly half hour, rocking Ari, when the door to Leigh's room cracked open and Leigh stood in the doorway, face blotchy, though every muscle in her body radiated tension. She felt Ari tense and she locked her left arm around her older daughter at the same time she held out her hand towards her younger one.

Leigh looked conflicted for a moment but then a single tear ran down her face and she practically threw herself onto the floor and into Charlie's arms. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm sorry I said those horrible things to you. I didn't call anyone. I don't want to live with grandma and grandpa. I want to live here."

"Baby," Charlie whispered. "Of course you do. It's all right. Everythings going to be all right." She felt like a crushing weight had been lifted and she was pretty sure it wasn't just fear of what her parents would say; just knowing that her daughters knew.

She heard the slam of the door and Miles footsteps coming up the stairs. "Hey, do I hear crying?" he asked, his voice light until he saw them and the smile faded. "What's wrong?"

"Dad," Leigh whispered, her voice shaking and Charlie saw Miles go white and actually reach out to steady himself on the wall.

"What?" he whispered back but Ari rounded on her sister.

"You can't call him that. You can't ever call him that. Because if anyone ever knew!"

"No," Miles voice was harsh but not angry. "She can call me anything she wants. You both can."

It was Ari that launched herself up, throwing herself into Miles arms. "Daddy," she sobbed, her voice nearly a scream. "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy."

Miles caught her and pulled her into a hug that Charlie was pretty sure must have hurt from how tight he was holding her, if only she was paying attention. "Oh, baby," he gasped and Charlie realized he was crying too. "Oh, I never thought I'd hear you say that." He held out his other arm and Leigh stood to join them and Charlie felt herself sobbing again at the sight of Miles, his arms around his daughters.

He looked up and their eyes met across the hallway and suddenly she pushed herself up to join them. She felt one of his hands on her shoulder and her daughters were pulling her closer and for the first time, her family knew what they really were.

 

Miles led them down to the kitchen about twenty minutes later and they dished up cooling chinese food onto plates. "I got this," Miles said, his voice still trembling and Charlie was pretty sure he had his plate on the counter because his hands were shaking too. "Because I knew Charlie'd gone home sick earlier. Thought I'd give her a break because didn't you two had soccer practice this afternoon?"

"Cancelled," Ari said. "Ms. Wilson has the flu. So do half the girls on the team."

"Didn't think I get home to this," he said but he kept looking between them and all three of them kept touching each other as if they didn't think it was real.


	7. Chapter 7

TWO YEARS LATER

Charlie smoothed the skirt of her dark dress as she stood from the pew, filing slowly past the black-clothed draped altar adorned with a large photo of Rosemary, a sheaf of iris' laid across it.

Both Miles and Ben's eyes were dry as they moved slowly up the main aisle, greeting people with low murmurs but Charlie knew how much Miles had wept in the week between Rosemary's death and the funeral, even though they had been expecting it for months.

Danny was right behind her, Gail following him, sniffing slightly. Shelley had been an only child whose parents had died before she had even met Bass so Gail's only other family had been a pair of great-aunt's in California she'd only seen twice in her entire life.

She was abruptly grateful that Rosemary had elected cremation rather than burial. To have gone through the entire ceremony with her grandmother's body present would have been harder than the simple service had already been. Rosemary had been a meddler, an alcoholic and an eccentric but she hadn't realized how much she would miss her grandmother's caustic comments and fleeting wondered if she'd be like that when she was that age.

They were forming a receiving line in the foyer of the church and she wanted to find a quiet corner and cry into Miles' shoulder -- something she was pretty sure she'd be allowed to get away with today -- but she put on a brave smile, instead putting herself between Ari and Leigh. Bass was hugging Ben, starting to move on, but her father pulled Bass into the line next to Miles and Danny had Gail between him and Rachel.

Nora was the first one out the door, one of her flavors-of-the-week trailing behind her and probably thinking he was something special because she picked him. Nora had told Charlie she hadn't been planning to bring anyone -- that a date for a funeral might be a little tacky -- but Charlie had laughed wetly into the phone and said how much Rosemary would have enjoyed it. Her grandmother would have liked this one too; he was tall and blonde, clearly into working out and a decade younger than Nora, judging by his looks.

The procession of mourners seemed to take forever -- family friends, coworkers of all sides of the family -- she supposed she was grateful she, Bass and Miles worked together as well as Ben, Rachel and Danny or there would have been even more people. A few of the nurses from the hospital had made it, friends of Ari and Leigh's from school, even, she noted with surprise, Jason's parents were there with Jason and his wife. Tom's hair was completely silver but it looked good on him. Julia had enough gray in her hair that Charlie was finally able to decide that yes, Julia was a natural blonde. She had wondered about it for years but had never dared ask. 

None of them had ever been particularly dedicated churchgoers but Rosemary had usually dragged them along for Christmas and Easter services because it was tradition and Charlie actually found it comforting to be familiar with the building and the faces of the pastor and the choir. The deaconess board had arranged the luncheon, which was one less thing she and Rachel had to deal with in trying to plan and prepare everything.

 

It wasn't until they had eaten dinner at Ben and Rachel's that she finally relaxed and kicked out of her shoes in Ben's office, reclining on his couch as he poured her a drink before sitting next to her. Gail waved at them as she passed on her way back from the bathroom and Ben shook his head. "Bass still beating off her admirers with sticks?" Gail had her mother's hair color, her fathers eyes, skin a shade between her parents. She'd inherited her parents stunning looks, though it was tough to say which of them she resembled.

"Miles went over a few months ago to clean guns with Bass before her date picked her up. She told them both if they ever did that again without her permission she'd find her own place. Then she called Miles the next weekend and said she wanted him to come do the same thing to a new guy; apparently she liked the intimidation factor -- but only when she arranges it.

Ben snorted. "Yep, he's going to have his hands full with that one. Mom always used to say that if Miles wasn't going to get married at least he'd adopted Bass. Even after you had Ari, Mom called Gail her youngest granddaughter."

"Well, she would be," Charlie smiled. "Since Ari was her great-granddaughter." Ben blushed and looked away, taking a large swallow of his own drink. "What?"

Ben sighed, his eyes closed and when he finally opened them again, Charlie sat up straight. "She knew. Mom did."

Charlie felt her insides go cold and her hand started to shake so she sat her drink on the table beside the couch. "Knew what?"

Her father swallowed, face twisting a little. "About you. . .and Miles."

"What about me and Miles?" she whispered but one of his hands reached out to grip hers.

"That you. . .I was angry for a while but I got over it. I think. . .I think I even understand now." 

She was crying again, she realized, and Ben pulled her into his arms. "How long have you known?"

"Not that long. Leigh was probably fifteen and she was all upset about not knowing who her Dad was. I told Mom I was going to talk to you about telling Leigh and she asked me if I was blind, willfully misunderstanding or just that dense. I had no idea what she was talking about for a few minutes. . .and then I wondered how I could have missed it all these years. I'm not sure which I was. . .probably a little of all three."

"Does Mom know?"

He nodded. "Your grandmother and I had a huge fight. I was planning on trying to get you to leave him because it was wrong. She accused me of having Victorian morals -- except apparently the Victorians would have been perfectly accepting of the situation. I went storming home and then got it all over again from your mother who apparently figured it out years ago. When I asked if it bugged her she said the only thing that did was that you two weren't close enough for her to feel comfortable talking about it but that you weren't nearly as bad as it had been before you and Miles. . .and I realized she was right. How much happier you were than you used to be. It was hard to argue with that. Granted, I was thinking about still trying to get you to leave until your brother called me -- Mother called him -- and told me you two had been together since you'd been twenty-one, you were both adults and I needed to mind my own damn business.

They'd known. She'd always figured that Danny -- and probably Bass -- had guessed but they'd all known, Charlie realized, feeling her breathing getting shallow and shocky and she grabbed the drink off the table and downed the entire thing. She felt the burn of the alcohol on her throat and she nearly choked but it also kept her from hyperventilating. "I wish someone would have said something." But the family didn't really talk about stuff like that. They were practically famous for their closeness but complete inability to actually communicate.

"I couldn't figure out how. Though I'd guess from the fact Leigh hasn't said anything for a few years, she knows now?"

Charlie nodded, the motion jerky. "Ari told her. She always knew. I have no idea how."

Miles appeared in the doorway, bouncing his keys in his hand. "Hey, Charlie, I have a headache and think I'm going to head out. Ari's ready too so she was going to drive me home. You can come with us or if you want to stay longer you can drive my car home." As usual, she and Miles had both come together; though Ari and Leigh had both drivenseparatelyy.

Charlie glanced over at Ben but her father shook his head just slightly and she realized that while Ben knew and accepted her and Miles' relationship, he clearly didn't want to discuss it any further, particularly not with his brother on that day. She almost laughed -- though it wouldn't have been a happy sound -- that they could come so far as a family and yet be so far apart.

"Why don't you go ahead, Sweetheart," Ben said, smiling at her. "You lookexhaustedd."

"Yeah, I am." And after choking back more whiskey than she'd drank in weeks, she probably wasn't the best person to be driving right now, even if it was less than she'd drank plenty of times and had been fine. But the entire family tended to be a little paranoid about drinking and driving after Bass' family and she also hadn't usually been dealing with grief, or the shock of learning her family had known about her and Miles for years and really didn't care any longer. "Maybe we both just go home with Ari."

Miles glanced at her closely, then shrugged. "Works for me if you can bring me back tomorrow to grab my car."

"Come around eleven," Ben promoted. "I'll tell Danny and we can all go our for brunch."

"He's taking Leigh home with him," Miles added. "She said she needed to get out of the house for a while but she doesn't want to go anywhere that people want her to be anything but depressed."

"Well, that would be either here or at Danny's," Benadmittedd. "Pretty sure he broke up with his latest fling because she was pissed he canceled their weekend together."

"For his grandmother's funeral," Charlie gasped. "What the hell?"

Ben laughed. "Not this weekend. It's in a few weeks but he said he wouldn't be in the mood to go white water rafting with her sorority sisters' five year reunion. Apparently that wasn't the right answer."

"He and Nora," Miles laughed, "if they would ever pull their heads out of their asses, would be absolutely perfect for each other. Because they almost always are wandering around with someone a decade younger than they are."

Ben shrugged, then sighed, "If it were going to happen, it would have by now. Just remember, payback's a bitch?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Charlie asked and Ben waved a hand, pouring himself another drink.

"Probably nothing. Go ahead and get out of here, you two. See you tomorrow."

As they walked out of the office that Charlie wrapped her arm around Miles' waist. He leaned against her, kissing the top of her head almost chastely as Rachel and Bass looked up from their drinks in the living room. Charlie looked out the window. "Did Gail leave?" she asked, not seeing his daughter's car and Bass nodded.

"Yeah. She had a lit paper due. She got an extension till next week but she said she wanted to get started on it. Apparently one of the possible choices was about memorializing and she said Ben's eulogy inspired her."

"Tell her I'd love to read it then." Charlie took a deep breath; Gail had been the unknown quantity but she was damn sure Bass had figured out everything years ago. "Leigh," she called towards the living room where her daughters were standing with Danny, "come give your Dad and I hugs before we take off."

Everyone in both rooms froze -- Bass with his glass halfway to lips -- and Danny in the middle of something he was whispering into Ari's ear.

Bass recovered first, setting his glass down and looking at the way Rachel still hadn't moved. He gave a laugh that sounded almost natural. "Wow, Charlotte, you are all kinds of messed up today, calling Miles their Dad, even if he acts like it."

Miles hadn't moved either, she realized, and she glanced sideways at him and he cocked one eyebrow at her in question but also one corner of his lip turned up in a gesture that might as well have been him saying, why the hell not. 

"That's because, Bass, he is. And you know it. You all know it." This time Miles did look surprised , his head turning towards Rachel, who finally sighed.

"Yes, I do," her mother said, her voice soft before she took another drink.

She heard a strangled squeak from Leigh but Danny put his hand on her arm and her daughter didn't move.

"Really?" Miles said, his voice sarcastic and he dropped his keys onto the counter and walked over to take Rachel's glass and down its contents. "When the hell did this happen?"

"Apparently a long time ago," Charlie said. "Dad was just telling me about it. Even grandma knew."

"Huh," Bass muttered. "Well, so much for me thinking I knew this big secret all these years."

"It is a secret," Rachel said, her voice turning cold. "One that no one outside this family can know about, Bass. Because not everyone understands family. . .well, like we do. Sometimes it can be your best friend and your worst enemy at the same time."

"I wish," Miles growled, "that someone would have actually said something, sometime in, oh, the last two decades."

Rachel shrugged, her lips turning up. "That would have. . .well, I knew about ten years ago but I wasn't really up to talking about it until about five years ago and by then it was so much a habit to act like it wasn't happening. . .sometimes it's easier just to keep on pretending."

"So everyone knew but me," Leigh snapped, her teeth gritted. "All those years somebody could have told me." Her voice was bitter but Danny grabbed her hand and pulled her into the crook of his arm.

"I was going to tell you eventually but it was pretty plain a few years ago that you'd figured it out for yourself so there wasn't really a need. . .not when I've never even talked to Charlie about it."

"And why is that?" she mused, looking over at the brother that she was closer to than almost anyone but for once in her life she couldn't read the expression on his face.

"Because some things aren't meant to be shared with a sibling. This was one of them." 

"So is there anyone other than Nora that doesn't know?" Bass sighed, pouring himself another drink. "Rachel, I'm crashing in your spare room tonight if I keep drinking like this but right now I think I need the booze."

"Oh, Nora knows," Danny commented. "She's known for a while but I didn't know she did until last year."

"Okay, so just Gail then," Bass sighed.

"Gail knows." Ari said softly and Leigh made a sound in her throat that might have been a growl. "What, she figured it out when Leigh stopped constantly asking who her dad was."

Ben walked into the kitchen and looked around, grimacing. "Ah, I see the talk I didn't want to have is going on right now." Miles held his hands out, palms towards Ben, shrugging and Ben sighed. "What was I suppose to say? You have my blessing? Because you don't. But you made her happy when nothing else ever did. Ever. And how can I argue with that. But yes, it's a lot easier to stick my head in the sand and pretend it never happened. I just. . .I promised Mom that someday I'd tell Charlie and I thought she needed to hear it tonight."

"Why didn't she tell me herself," Charlie asked, leaning against Miles side and Danny started to laugh.

"Oh, come on Charlie. That one's easy. If you guys had known grandma actually approved of your relationship, that would have been the first step to destroying it."

Miles barked a laugh and even Ben smiled. "That's true," Miles admitted. "I always did go the exact opposite way my mother wanted me to."

"So you thought," Rachel said, lifting her glass. "Kind of makes me wonder if she ever had a hand in setting any of it up."

"I'm pretty sure she didn't," Miles muttered and Ben shrugged. 

"Maybe not. But she sure took advantage of it when it happened. Said it took a rare person to make a Matheson happy."

"She got that right," Danny muttered darkly and suddenly Ari was grabbing her keys and Bass was pouring Ben a drink, toasting Rosemary while Danny and Leigh were arguing about what movie they wanted to watch at his apartment and Charlie smiled, realizing her family really was just happier not talking about it. Or almost, she amended, as Leigh broke off her argument with her Uncle to go kiss Miles on the cheek.

"Night, Dad," Leigh announced, her smile almost satisfied as everyone sorted themselves back out and Miles squeezed his younger daughter in a tight hug.

"Night, baby. See you tomorrow."

 

They were settled into the car, Charlie curled up with Miles in the back seat, snuggling into his arms while Ari backed out of the driveway. "Not the way," her older daughter commented as she tilted her head to check her rearview mirror, "that I expected to end the evening."

"You're telling me," Miles stated, burying his face in Charlie's hair. "I about fell over."

"Well, after what Dad had just told me, I thought it was time to at least put it out there."

Miles shrugged. "Well, that's one way to look at it, I guess."

"And the other?"

He leaned close to her, lips mouthing against her ear. "Our daughter would probably mind if I showed you right now. How about we wait till we get home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to Beejabbers and please, please, please, everyone post lots of comments. Don't let the fact this got posted all at once deceive you. I worked on this for MONTHS. I found emails between Beejabbers and I that went back to May of 2014, when she was first posting "Is This to End or Just Begin?" and I was starting to come up with an idea for this. I finished it just a little over a month ago but I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time to reflect on the ending, which I didn't really like that much when I first wrote it because it just seemed so tidy. However, rather than deleting it, I let it sit for a while and when I went back and read it again, I realized how much I absolutely loved it. The secret might not be a secret anymore. . .but these are Matheson's and I realized it was a vain hope to think they could be fooled for that long anyway.


End file.
